[Ian101]

OK - I'll bite.

Here's my view.

Ooop North above you in Brum in the wildest depths of Lancashire and Yorkshire where the luddite window cleaners like "Stan the Man" (of this august forum - he'll be along in a mo' when he's pulled the spark plug lead off of his panther sidecar outfit  ) live you still get patches.

These guys typically charge about £5 a house, run up and down ladders in contravention of Health and Safety guidelines, drag their knuckles and shout "Gerroff my patch!" at those who have the temerity to venture into "their area". Some get threatening and very rarely will physically assault another window cleaner or put a brick through his windscreen and let down his tyres.

Thankfully, natural selection is weeding these out and they go back to their doley ways and find some other poor geezer to intimidate.

Some customers - like battered wives - help perpetuate the "Patch" system by "sticking" to their window cleaner even tho' he is surly, unreliable and just rearranges the dirt instead of removeing it from the windows.

Darn Sarf  it's different - we're a bunch of pansies with shiny new vans and a bogbrush on a stick (otherwise known as waterfed poles) - we are so weedy that we are scared of ladders and boast about stupidly high earnings while making our customers (heretoafter referred to as custies) windows all spotty and smeary because we think that waterfed poles are magic wands.

If Johnny-come-lately, the new window cleaner (heretoafter referred to as a windie) turns up next to one of our custies we say "Here, let me show you how to do it" and we offer help and obsequiously grovel and say "after you" - "no, after you" etc - because we are fools who will soon be back to our computing jobs when the recession is over.

Hope that helps. 

Where do the Welsh fit in with this ?? 

[paul rulton]

i try n get on with all the windys i meet   we r all in the same boat   ive helped other windys out,
either just some advice or helped on a job. & ive been helped out in the past  
the only thing ive never done but been asked, is 2swap work wiv another windy.

[martinsadie]

Lancashire and Yorkshire where the luddite window cleaners like "Stan the Man" (of this august forum - he'll be along in a mo' when he's pulled the spark plug lead off of his panther sidecar outfit  ) live you still get patches.

These guys typically charge about £5 a house, run up and down ladders in contravention of Health and Safety guidelines, drag their knuckles and shout "Gerroff my patch!" at those who have the temerity to venture into "their area". Some get threatening and very rarely will physically assault another window cleaner or put a brick through his windscreen and let down his tyres.

you will be hearing from my solictor soon Malc 

[Paul Coleman]

Up north they urinate at both ends of the street to mark out their territory in order to ward of any out of town windies.

[groundhog]

There are plenty of areas in cities like Portsmouth where you would be taking your life in your hand if you dared to clean windows on the local cleaners patch!! I started my first round in Chichester, and was attacked by another cleaner on more than one occassion for canvssing his customers, he even jumped over a wall into a customers garden where I was working to try and attack me!! Fortunately I can handle myself ok, and he got more than he bargained for!!    So its not just up North where window cleaners protect their patch!! Where I live we help each other out, and pass work to each other when we get a job on an area that another local window cleaner has a lot of work, its all very friendly and works well, so its not always a bad thing!  

[R W C™]

There are plenty of areas in cities like Portsmouth where you would be taking your life in your hand if you dared to clean windows on the local cleaners patch!! I started my first round in Chichester, and was attacked by another cleaner on more than one occassion for canvssing his customers, he even jumped over a wall into a customers garden where I was working to try and attack me!! Fortunately I can handle myself ok, and he got more than he bargained for!!    So its not just up North where window cleaners protect their patch!! Where I live we help each other out, and pass work to each other when we get a job on an area that another local window cleaner has a lot of work, its all very friendly and works well, so its not always a bad thing!  

Where do you work now grounhog ?

[prestige cleaners]

this happened to the previous owner of my round.

he was taking custies off a rough geezer, who wasnt very good, and custs wanted rid of him anyway.

he found out where he lived and slashed all 4 tyres of his sports car, and verbally threatened him.

same guy got threatened by a gutter cleaner for being on his patch (he said i clean the gutters around here!) muppet!

ive had my windscreen smashed in, but couldnt say if that was another windy, could be vandals, (i live in a rough area!)

[dmlservices]

Up north they urinate at both ends of the street to mark out their territory in order to ward of any out of town windies.

 
classic

daz

[AuRavelling79]

Brionhy - I would post my email addy, but there's a nutter on this forum out to get me and he might reach down the wires and throttle me cuz I drove through Lancashire (the whole of which is "his patch") on my way to the lake district.

So I'll happily answer any Q.'s you might have on this forum instead.

If you can get Tosh to answer you he's great - half Japanese, half geordie, living in Chepstow, ex squaddy with buddhist tendencies who had some idiot threaten him a few years back.

As for me I did get a guy called "Shane" have a go at me - he was all ponytail, tattoos and martial arts and threatened my bro. (who was canvassing with me) down his  mobile as he (my bro.) was walking into a crematorium to take a funeral service (honestly).

When I met up with him two days later; well let's just say he seemed to decide not to intimidate me in the same way. 

[Gav Camm lammy 283]

boring this patch stuff went out with noah n
his ark im niether interested or concerned bout patches
its up to custy who they employ to clean "their" windows
no-one as ever said to me get off my patch or wotever
mainly be cuz im dearer more proffessional n tougher
#than they r lol n iv got more than enuf work
END OV 

[AuRavelling79]

To Stan the Man:

If you want me to draft a solicitor's letter to myself here it is - and I charge a lot less.

To Messers Gold and Co
Window Cleaners to the Gentry
Brigstowe
Carrotcruncher Land

April 1st 2010

Dear Sirs,

Defamation of Character

We understand that in a posting on the most illustrious "Cleanitup" forum that you did defame and degrade the reputation of our client; i.e. Mr Stanley "The Man" Manley, by referring to him as a "luddite" and further you explicitly stated that he rode a Panther motorcycle outfit which he has not done for six years as he upgraded to a Honda (Japcrap, by 'eck) Benly 450.

We understand that you were trying to be humorous, but nevertheless you have gone too far and our client seeks redress as you have damaged his reputation and caused great personal suffering and we lay claim to damages in the sum of £1,000,000,000.00 (1 Billion gbp) or a grovelling apology on the same forum.

Failure to comply within seven (7) days will result in further action.

Yours faithfully,




Desperate Daniel Solicitor
Ambulance Chaser
Court Chambers
Warrington
Lancs.


And here is my reply:-

Sorry Stan! Only kidding!  

(Phew, that was close - a billion would have cleared out my life savings!  )

[AuRavelling79]

There are plenty of areas in cities like Portsmouth where you would be taking your life in your hand if you dared to clean windows on the local cleaners patch!! I started my first round in Chichester, and was attacked by another cleaner on more than one occassion for canvssing his customers, he even jumped over a wall into a customers garden where I was working to try and attack me!! Fortunately I can handle myself ok, and he got more than he bargained for!!    So its not just up North where window cleaners protect their patch!! Where I live we help each other out, and pass work to each other when we get a job on an area that another local window cleaner has a lot of work, its all very friendly and works well, so its not always a bad thing!  

Ah, well, Portsmouth is a special case - they still have press-gangs down there! 

Custy: Who are you?

Windie: Hi Mr. Custy, I'm your new windy - the last one got taken off by a press gang to join Captain "kiss me" Hardy on HMS Victory!

Custy: Carry on matelot!

[martinsadie]

To Stan the Man:

If you want me to draft a solicitor's letter to myself here it is - and I charge a lot less.

To Messers Gold and Co
Window Cleaners to the Gentry
Brigstowe
Carrotcruncher Land

April 1st 2010

Dear Sirs,

Defamation of Character

We understand that in a posting on the most illustrious "Cleanitup" forum that you did defame and degrade the reputation of our client; i.e. Mr Stanley "The Man" Manley, by referring to him as a "luddite" and further you explicitly stated that he rode a Panther motorcycle outfit which he has not done for six years as he upgraded to a Honda (Japcrap, by 'eck) Benly 450.

We understand that you were trying to be humorous, but nevertheless you have gone too far and our client seeks redress as you have damaged his reputation and caused great personal suffering and we lay claim to damages in the sum of £1,000,000,000.00 (1 Billion gbp) or a grovelling apology on the same forum.

Failure to comply within seven (7) days will result in further action.

Yours faithfully,




Desperate Daniel Solicitor
Ambulance Chaser
Court Chambers
Warrington
Lancs.


And here is my reply:-

Sorry Stan! Only kidding!  

(Phew, that was close - a billion would have cleared out my life savings!  )

[williamx]

Remember guys that Brionhy is working for the media, so kept quite that thousands of window cleaners and hundreds of thousands of the general public are breaking the law by using LADDERS that have been banned since 2005.

We only use wfp remember that piece of metal strapped on the car roof only used to cross customers moats so we can clean the duck house

[groundhog]

Are you Brionhy Sullivan by any chance??

[Platinum]

There are some dumb tw**s who winge at you for canvassing on their rounds.

Ive had it a lot but have found the ones what have recently changed hands to be the worst.
One wc i have just upset has bought some work, put the prices up and changed to wfp in the first month o taking over and now thinks i have no right to canvass customers hes just bought 

He wont realise that i will have the majority of the estate in 6 months because hes concentrating on me rather than keeping his customers.

I like the rivalry because i know im going to win 
 

[richard jagger]

Hi Briohny To find some imfo on your subject do the following on the top a the main page you will see a button marked search.Type is Stan the man this will bring you to a page of threads look for the one called threats and click on it,This will give you some veiws.Good Luck.

[Briohny]

Thank you every body you have been most helpful.

this is my email address

briohny.williams@bbc.co.uk

If anyone wants to get in touch PLEASE do. We are looking for people just to have a chat to. No court cases, just chats!

:0

[williamx]

I wanna be famous :

[Sir Squeaky]

Up north they urinate at both ends of the street to mark out their territory in order to ward of any out of town windies.

Classic!