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Briohny

  • Posts: 14
Patch Rivalry
« on: April 21, 2010, 12:10:38 pm »
Hello
My name is Briohny and I'm doing some research for a radio programme about patch rivalry between window cleaners. I'm based in Birmingham but would like to know of any stories from around the UK.
I would be really grateful if you could get in touch if you have experienced anything.

Many Thanks

Briohny

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 25133
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2010, 12:36:07 pm »
OK - I'll bite.

Here's my view.

Ooop North above you in Brum in the wildest depths of Lancashire and Yorkshire where the luddite window cleaners like "Stan the Man" (of this august forum - he'll be along in a mo' when he's pulled the spark plug lead off of his panther sidecar outfit  ;D) live you still get patches.

These guys typically charge about £5 a house, run up and down ladders in contravention of Health and Safety guidelines, drag their knuckles and shout "Gerroff my patch!" at those who have the temerity to venture into "their area". Some get threatening and very rarely will physically assault another window cleaner or put a brick through his windscreen and let down his tyres.

Thankfully, natural selection is weeding these out and they go back to their doley ways and find some other poor geezer to intimidate.

Some customers - like battered wives - help perpetuate the "Patch" system by "sticking" to their window cleaner even tho' he is surly, unreliable and just rearranges the dirt instead of removing it from the windows.

Darn Sarf  ;D it's different - we're a bunch of pansies with shiny new vans and a bogbrush on a stick (otherwise known as waterfed poles) - we are so weedy that we are scared of ladders and boast about stupidly high earnings while making our customers (heretoafter referred to as custies) windows all spotty and smeary because we think that waterfed poles are magic wands.

If Johnny-come-lately, the new window cleaner (heretoafter referred to as a windie) turns up next to one of our custies we say "Here, let me show you how to do it" and we offer help and obsequiously grovel and say "after you" - "no, after you" etc - because we are fools who will soon be back to our computing jobs when the recession is over.

Hope that helps.  ;D
It's a game of three halves!

stfc

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2010, 12:47:27 pm »
In my opinon there is no such thing as a patch and i get bored of saying this week in week out,I had a guy phone me up a few months ago saying to get off his patch ::),I did ask him if he owned the land because if he did then that would be his patch,At the end of the day business is business...

Darranvps

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2010, 12:54:37 pm »
OK - I'll bite.

Here's my view.

Ooop North above you in Brum in the wildest depths of Lancashire and Yorkshire where the luddite window cleaners like "Stan the Man" (of this august forum - he'll be along in a mo' when he's pulled the spark plug lead off of his panther sidecar outfit  ;D) live you still get patches.

These guys typically charge about £5 a house, run up and down ladders in contravention of Health and Safety guidelines, drag their knuckles and shout "Gerroff my patch!" at those who have the temerity to venture into "their area". Some get threatening and very rarely will physically assault another window cleaner or put a brick through his windscreen and let down his tyres.

Thankfully, natural selection is weeding these out and they go back to their doley ways and find some other poor geezer to intimidate.

Some customers - like battered wives - help perpetuate the "Patch" system by "sticking" to their window cleaner even tho' he is surly, unreliable and just rearranges the dirt instead of removeing it from the windows.

Darn Sarf  ;D it's different - we're a bunch of pansies with shiny new vans and a bogbrush on a stick (otherwise known as waterfed poles) - we are so weedy that we are scared of ladders and boast about stupidly high earnings while making our customers (heretoafter referred to as custies) windows all spotty and smeary because we think that waterfed poles are magic wands.

If Johnny-come-lately, the new window cleaner (heretoafter referred to as a windie) turns up next to one of our custies we say "Here, let me show you how to do it" and we offer help and obsequiously grovel and say "after you" - "no, after you" etc - because we are fools who will soon be back to our computing jobs when the recession is over.

Hope that helps.  ;D
See what I mean Briohny

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 25133
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2010, 01:06:15 pm »
Glad to be of service Darran -  ;)
It's a game of three halves!

williamx

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2010, 01:19:03 pm »
The lady telephoned me early today and I advised her to post a topic on here, as I am aware that this does go on, I have not had the good fortune to have it happen to me yet, although some customers have had bad experences from their last window cleaner when they moved to a better window cleaner, ME 8)

but there still time hopefully 8)

Please be gentle with her.

clean

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2010, 01:20:52 pm »
In my opinon there is no such thing as a patch and i get bored of saying this week in week out,I had a guy phone me up a few months ago saying to get off his patch ::),I did ask him if he owned the land because if he did then that would be his patch,At the end of the day business is business...

My opinion aswell

paul rulton

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2010, 01:22:09 pm »
In my opinon there is no such thing as a patch and i get bored of saying this week in week out,I had a guy phone me up a few months ago saying to get off his patch ::),I did ask him if he owned the land because if he did then that would be his patch,At the end of the day business is business...
same here  ;D

My opinion aswell

Briohny

  • Posts: 14
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2010, 01:32:00 pm »
where  was that?

paul rulton

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2010, 01:34:04 pm »
webs end  :)

Briohny

  • Posts: 14
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2010, 01:38:19 pm »

indeed indeed,
Mr Gold can I have your email address maybe?!!

Thanks for all the post, very interesting!

 :)

ian1972

  • Posts: 840
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2010, 02:18:37 pm »
yes around the northen parts its a little hairy if u wander onto someones so called patch,everytime i do a leaflet drop or had it even when i been recomended to someone the dreaded phone calls,the 1s were your blood boils and u want to hunt them down and kick there butt phone calls,the 1s were you havent even took 1 of there custys but just cause your on the same estate as them,so yup its fun however i do try not to get arrested when dealing with these gangsta windy cleaners .........

paul rulton

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2010, 02:19:45 pm »
some1 please ask where webs ends is..... :'( :'(

clean

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2010, 02:25:39 pm »
some1 please ask where webs ends is..... :'( :'(

oo oo i know i know it`s at the end of the web   ;D

Briohny

  • Posts: 14
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2010, 02:26:27 pm »
where's web end?!

paul rulton

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2010, 02:32:08 pm »
where's web end?!

up a spiders bum  ;D ;D ;D

thanks guys  ;D ;D



i'll get my coat  :-[         my boy told me that joke the other day  ;D well i thought it was funny  :-\

Briohny

  • Posts: 14
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2010, 02:40:50 pm »


right I'm bringing this post back in line!

Patch rivalry and email addresses so I can contact you! I'm not scary

 :)

GB Window Cleaning

  • Posts: 3262
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #17 on: April 21, 2010, 03:08:32 pm »
lol @ gold... you said it better than i ever could have done!

tomy jackson

Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #18 on: April 21, 2010, 04:52:40 pm »
if you wont riverley look no ther than CIU  ;D ;D

Llaaww

  • Posts: 2260
Re: Patch Rivalry
« Reply #19 on: April 21, 2010, 05:05:50 pm »
 one or two averted glances, nothing more. Cornwall. 8)

if it is dirty it is fair game