To Stan the Man:
If you want me to draft a solicitor's letter to myself here it is - and I charge a lot less.
To Messers Gold and Co
Window Cleaners to the Gentry
Brigstowe
Carrotcruncher Land
April 1st 2010
Dear Sirs,
Defamation of CharacterWe understand that in a posting on the most illustrious "Cleanitup" forum that you did defame and degrade the reputation of our client; i.e. Mr Stanley "The Man" Manley, by referring to him as a "luddite" and further you explicitly stated that he rode a Panther motorcycle outfit which he has not done for six years as he upgraded to a Honda (Japcrap, by 'eck) Benly 450.
We understand that you were trying to be humorous, but nevertheless you have gone too far and our client seeks redress as you have damaged his reputation and caused great personal suffering and we lay claim to damages in the sum of £1,000,000,000.00 (1 Billion gbp) or a grovelling apology on the same forum.
Failure to comply within seven (7) days will result in further action.
Yours faithfully,
Desperate Daniel Solicitor
Ambulance Chaser
Court Chambers
Warrington
Lancs.
And here is my reply:-
Sorry Stan! Only kidding!
(Phew, that was close - a billion would have cleared out my life savings!
)