[Dick]

Having been lucky in not having many unpaid accounts (1 died & 1 moved away) I recently had an unpleasant ex-customer who accused me of only doing the back of his house and then going (not exactly his wording). When I went for the 3rd time to collect it got a little heated as he refused to pay me.
Any good tips on subtle revenge without getting into any serious trouble. It was only £6, so not too much cost, but it would be nice to think that he didn't get away with it.
Richard

[Paul Coleman]

Having been lucky in not having many unpaid accounts (1 died & 1 moved away) I recently had an unpleasant ex-customer who accused me of only doing the back of his house and then going (not exactly his wording). When I went for the 3rd time to collect it got a little heated as he refused to pay me.
Any good tips on subtle revenge without getting into any serious trouble. It was only £6, so not too much cost, but it would be nice to think that he didn't get away with it.
Richard

Put the dirt back on his glass 

Seriously though, I just feel a bit irritated for a while and then let it go.  If the amount isn't worth pursuing via the small claims court (it rarely is with domestic window cleaning), then I would say move on, let go, and feel good that you run your business with honesty.  You can only keep your own side of the street clean.
Something that I once did when a bill was disputed was to phone the customer.  As it was only a small amount, I suggested that if they felt they couldn't pay me, could they at least give the money to a charity of their choice and I would match it.  That's exactly what we did.  Honour was satisfied, we both moved on, and I felt OK that I had helped a charity.  The ex-customer also felt OK about it.
They didn't want to pay it to me as they didn't think they owed it.  I didn't want them to gain from not paying me.  We both got what we wanted.

It didn't stop me cancelling the job though.

[Thecleanerservice]

Don't let 'em get to you is the best advice.  For 6 quid walk away and never go back.
I had a bloke phone me once, said his w/cleaner had let him down, I went, quoted him £9.  He complained and said the last guy only charged £7.  I said where is he now?  He mumbled that I should do them anyway, to be honest I should have quoted more, but he went in.  He came out a couple of minutes later slapped the money in my hand and said he had to go out, left me to finish, and asked if I would ring before coming next time so that it didn't inconvenience him!!
So I got a little mad, finished the job and wrote on his ticket "Keep your extra £2 I don't overcharge, and all my customers are satisfied. Don't call me again".
Guess what?  He didn't.  Made me feel much better than £2 ever could.
Don't worry be happy
Pj

[baldeagle]

I did hear of someone who "tweaked" a satellite antenna a bit so that it looked at something completely different!

It was, presumably, within [safe] reaching distance of his ladder, or "clouting" distance if he were a poleman.

No decent respectable window cleaner would do that, would they?

Baldeagle

[pjulk]

I hit a satalite dish once with my ladders by accident.
The customer never said anything so i guess it still working ok.

Paul

[windows_chepstow]

We've all had rotten customers I'm sure.

Ones who say they've got no money at the minute, so you tell them you'll call back on Friday to collect.  Then they're out and the money isn't left under the doormat like you asked them to.

Or I've had two who'd wait till I started cleaning the back of the house and leave without saying a word out the front.  Which has the double impact of you knocking on the door again and again because you're sure they're bloody in.  One of these was a nightmare to corner for the cash.  I did though.  I always get my man.  Then dropped him.

Or new cleans that are disgustingly rotten.  You get them looking all nice and shiny and then they start trying to change the terms and conditions (such as frequency of clean) on you, and you say 'If you'd have told me that before I cleaned your house; I wouldn't have'.

Wor Lasses twelve year old nephew is a 'bit of a lad'.  I plan to get him for an evening and take him round every bad customer I've ever had.  I'll pay him £1.00 per egg that hits an upstairs window.

Oh, and a tomato ketchup bottle filled with your favourate coloured paint is effective too.  Soldier's used to spoil Republican Murals which were often of the extremely anti-British soldier variety.  One I remember was just white.  To silloette soldiers at night, so they'd be easier to shoot.  I never did this sort of thing though.  I was a good boy.

Anyway, I'd probably never do any of the above.  No matter how much I'd like to, I'm all talk and no trousers.  As Shiner advises, it's probably best forgotten and at the end of the day it's TAX DEDUCTABLE, so you don't really lose anything at all.  Just count it as an expense against your takings.

[Sir Squeaky]

I hit a satalite dish once with my ladders by accident.
The customer never said anything so i guess it still working ok.

I've got one that I hit every month!

I just haven't learned that when I turn the corner his dish is sticking out!

Nothing's been said though.

[Paul Coleman]

I hit a satalite dish once with my ladders by accident.
The customer never said anything so i guess it still working ok.

I've got one that I hit every month!

I just haven't learned that when I turn the corner his dish is sticking out!

Nothing's been said though.

I've clouted 3 or 4 of them over the years too.  Not intentionally of course.

[matt]

wait till the end of the day when your bucket is full of dirty water and go and mop the water on the glass, BUT dont sqeegee off

[gacleaning]

smere mud over the windows, thats just the really rude ones mind...

im not a bad person

[Marc's on the Glass, LLC]

There was a pizza place in New York that would place the bounced checks from customers and display them under the glass on their counter.  What a good jab.  Later, they went out of business.  I don't know why.  Maybe because nobody would write a check out to them?

By the way... Best form of advertisement:  word-of-mouth

[dai]

When I first started I did some social housing. Most were on benefits. I did one house and called back later for my money. The guy refused to pay. "How do I know you cleaned the effing windows? You could just say that you had. I'm not paying you". It was his attitude that got to me. I knocked a few times to try and reason with the guy. On the last occasion a thin sliver of bamboo somehow got jammed deep in his yale lock. I had some satisfaction the next time round when I noticed a piece of plywood covering his front door pannel.
I dropped the whole estate shortly after, and have never gone near that kind of housing since. Dai

[rosskesava]

I would put £6 into an envelope with a note saying that here is £6 to pay the next window cleaner and just knock on his door, hand it to him him with a cheery 'hello' say nothing else and just walk away.

That is a class way to insult someone. Especially the cheery 'hello', and the walking away but make sure you are in your car and gone before they can open the envelope, digest the insult and walk after you. Not for the threat thing from them but so as they cannot take their upset out on anyone but instead have to have it going around in their heads all evening and night and the next day and so on.

I did that to an unpaid £10 clean for similar reasons and the person later kept phoning us  to say whatever but each time before they could say a word I just said 'I'm not interested and goodbye' and put the phone down.

To start with he kept phoning back straight away and I gave the same reply but I never got into any type of discussion.

That is important. Don't discuss it. Just always be polite and say thanks for phoning but good bye and hang up.

I know it ate into him (or them as he got his wife to phone sometimes) more than it got to me.

And the fact he or his wife couldn't have their say, I bet that sent them nuts.

Cheers

[gaza]

super glue in door locks works
 gaza

[rosskesava]

Hi Gaza

You do have a certain directness about you don't you? 

I think up plans and schemes and you cut straight to the point.

Super glue their locks?

Good idea.

What happened to the capitals that you always write in?

Cheers

[AuRavelling79]

Rosskesava - £6 in an envelope eh? Pure class mate, pure class!

[Marc's on the Glass, LLC]

I once read about "revenge companies" in Japan.  You could legally aquire their service to commit character assasination and other non-destructive revenge.  Do you have one in UK?