[c w window cleanin]

me and a friend i worked with a while ago , noticed  there was quite a few mental dogs on the round that felt it was their divine right to attack us at their leisure/pee on the ladders/bark their t*ts off at us through the letter box for the duration of the house we were cleaning , and we decided something needed to be done, to combat the dastardly hounds..............then we found the answer........a damp scrim , weilded correctly by an experianced veteran of many years window cleaning , can be transformed into a piece of first class personal defense hardware. i shall pass on the secrets of this noble art , to those who are prepared to learn the deadly skills , and add them to their own 'dog defence' tactics.....................firstly you need a scrim , with just the right amount of dampness in it to make the scrim heavy- but it cant be ringing wet or it doesent work as well....then you are ready to weild this awsome weapon of fido's destruction.......we shall set the scene....

you casually stroll into the customers garden gate , and out of nowhere charges snarling hairy arsed young rover , who's  decided you have to die......'oh does he  flamin think so?!!!...........timing is critical here! you need to act fast or your gonna get bitten..grasp the aforementioned scrim in one of its corners and whip it to the dogs nose/eyes mouth-and do it fast, quickly retracting the scrim as fast you sent it his way(or the power of the scrim will be lost)...now if you did it right , the scrim should either deliver an ear splitting 'crack' (sound barrier being broken , im told) or even better.you hit the mangy mutt square in the muzzle, which i can attest to ,will seriously change the canines plans for the day!!!
 
And there you have it--simple it seems , but devastatingly effective.....but first ,daniel san , you need to put in the hours of practice , to get to  be able to make the ear splitting dog terrifying sonic 'crack' that will prove so valuable in turning the tables on the growling, crotch sniffing mingers that formerly used to attack you at their leisure..NO MORE!!!! . Did i mention this noble art also seems to shut dogs up even when their in the house barking away doing your head in, or when theyre in a garden next door , etc etc.. THATS RIGHT , IM BAD!

[c w window cleanin]

I FORGOT TO ASK--DOES ANYONE ELSE USE THIS METHOD TO FEND OFF MAD POOCHES? ID BE INTERESTED TO HEAR OF ANY OTHER METHODS OF FIGHTING BACK AND 'RECLAIMING OUR ROUNDS FROM THE HOUNDS'......

[H h20]

  you`ve certainly made me lol there matey,but as for using the method,no not YET but i`ll definetly give it a go,i usually carry an extention pole and a very loud voice and not forgetting a few stones in my pouches,that usually does the trick,so keep up with the mut whipping,and enjoy it aswell because i ain`t  a dog lover and the more nasty viscious smelly k9s get whiped the better!

[dai]

As My old mate used to say,"a dog is the finest machine ever for converting good food into poo".

[windows_chepstow]

A couple of weeks ago a sneaky terrier grabbed hold of my hand, and bit hard whilst I was putting a 'Your window cleaner has been' chit through the door.

The little 'tyke' remained quiet - didn't bark once - then bit me as my hand entered the letter box.  Shocked, I squealed like a little girl, and then had to play tug of war with my right index finger.  I won, but it hurt.

I bled and was really cross.  I just hope the owner leaves him out round the back one day, when she's out at work.  He'll get a lot, lot worse than just a flick with a wet scrim.

[Ian_Giles]

I had one begger head butt me in the nose as I was collecting off its owner Didn't half make my eyes water
He was only being friendly, fault for bending down to stroke him If the customer hadn't been there I would have launched him

My Staffie loves it when I hone my skills with a wet scrim, he only has to hear me breaking the sound barrier out in the garden, as I walk up from the car, dead heading dandilions with frightening accuracy
Vinnie then does his best to catch and then eat said scrim, I feel a right muppet chasing him around the garden when the begger snatches it off me and sprints around the lawn trying to shake it to death.
You fein disinterest, he gives up while still 20 yards away from and drops the scrim. And just as you stoop to pick it up he grabs it and spriints off again!
Since when did dogs learn to double bluff

I rarely have a problem with dogs, it may not be the most sensible, but I tend to wallk in like I belong there, give pooch a greeting, scratch his ear and so on and then ignore it.
They tend to look all confused then, S'not supposed to happen that way

Ian

[AuRavelling79]

A side benefit of water-fed pole - you can "accidently" spray said pooches - and if that doesn't work stuff said brush end of pole into the barking end of the mutt. For really persistent hounds use the other end of the pole!

[petetaylor56]

 :)a pocket of dog chews and just ignore them i do a policemans house and he has a big long haired alsation allways seen it through window one day climb over gate to do windows turned rond there was dog s--t i thought hello boy he leg it down garden hid behind wall well owner said how did you clean back windows told him dog legged it he  couldnt believe it

[matt2323]

we always take dog treats with us even nasty dogs get nicer

[baldeagle]

stuff said brush end of pole into the barking end of the mutt. For really persistent hounds use the other end of the pole!

And, presumably, into the other end of the mutt!

Love this thread - laughed my socks off at it!

[John_McGavin]

Nice one. really cheered my day up!

Word of warning .. dont try this on the wife as she steps out the shower/bath...... she's still not speaking to me 

John

[AuRavelling79]

I actually used the "lift the letterbox flap with the squeegee end" trick today - put bill thru' and "accidently" let mutt jump against squeeguee end. "Yelp! Whimper!"

[Pureandclean]

Read in Daily Express today, about Postman accidentally tripping over dog and killing it, one of those brain dead yorkie's. I can never work out why something so small is so daft as to bark at something as big as us.
I mean if we walked around a corner and there was an elephant standing there, you wouldn't find me shouting at the great big thing, if I did I know what I would expect from it.

Years ago, at one house they had a golden retriever, that they let roam about, and it loved to come and nip my legs, well I was walking down side of house with ladder on shoulder, bucket in hand, dog thought aha I've got him now, and sneaked up behind me to get a good nip in, well this chap swung his his boot backwards, accidentally, of course, and caught said pooch, right under it's chin.
For some funny reason it never came close to me again !!

  Blessings 

Graeme

[c w window cleanin]

Nice one. really cheered my day up!

Word of warning .. dont try this on the wife as she steps out the shower/bath...... she's still not speaking to me 

John

i actualy did flick my wife with a scrim(not realising how much it would hurt!!!) she went totaly mental on me-understandably!!! poor lass had a purple welt on her leg    romance is my middle name

[rosskesava]

I did the same to my missus last year. I didn't intend it to be such an exact flick but I caught her on the back of her leg with a perfect sounding 'crack'.

I was in the dog house for weeks. She told all her friends about it and showed them the red/purple/black mark.

Now if I could do that to some of the 'nasty big headed 4 legged mutts that are only so brave because I can't boot them' dogs - I would be more than happy.

[gaza]

lauff my socks off:a dog bite two of my fingers while posting a your window cleaner called  today cards, my fault cus I had been warned about the two dogs ,but I didnt see which one did it,shortly afterwards the owner cancelled cus they were moving.REVENGE TIME:I went to chemist,bought some laxative chocalate,put an unwraped bar through the door after I tried a couple of pieces first through the letter box,they seemed to like it so I gave them the rest of the bar,evil Iknow but every dog has its day

[Duke]

when I had a lad working with me....I used to get him to bang on the patio door at the back....so I could slip a note through the letterbox on the front.....thus avoiding pooch's teeth. Still used to get the envelope back with teeth marks on it though...I suppose it smelled of me...