[Ian_Giles]

I drifted off-topic on one post, I've quoted my off-topic post below, But I thought the general idea might make a decent little thread.

One of the misconceptions that bug me is the rain thing, you know, its not worth cleaning those windows because its going to rain and make them dirty again.
It irritates me because (except on certain occasions) the rain itself will rarely dirty a clean window. (I don't mean the runoff from the walls above, or water bouncing off a nearby surface, or the Sahara sand either )
And of course there is the old chestnut, 'You're going to make it rain again'.
That one bugs me too
I wouldn't mind but people come up to you and say it like they think I have never heard that one said before, I wish they'd shut up

Talking of old wives tales, how many of you live near a bridge where someone died and fell into the bridge foundations, and they are still buried there to this day?

Here's the one I put on the other post:

Mobile phones....they'll be the death of us yet, though this will usually only occur if you send the seedy, sordid and obscene text you have just tapped out with shaking fingers to your wife....instead of your lover

I hate the misconceptions that can surround our trusty mobiles, trying using yours while filling up at the petrol station, the assistants have an absolute fit! They are bawling down the tannoy that the driver must stop using his phone before he kills us all by turning the station into a huge fireball

It's complete garbage of course, after getting caught using my moblie (wasn't on purpose, it rang, I answered ) and being ticked of loudly by some snot nosed teller I did some research.

The reason (and the only reason there has ever been) is that in the days when mobiles were just starting, one of the makes, I think it was Vodafone, had their phones operating on the same frequency as the pumps, using them around the petrol pumps could interfere with the signal to the tills (not necessarily in your favour either!).
None of the phones do so anymore, and it is an utter fallacy that a mobile can cause an explosion or ignite petrol fumes, the emitted microwaves would need to heat the air to the ignition point of the petrol, an absolute physical impossibility, you don't believe me, put a saucer of petrol in your microwave oven, turn it on to full power for 30 seconds, nothing will happen..............but make sure it is an old microwave oven, not the new one your wife picked up from Comet the week before, trust me, this is not a good idea
The stink of petrol fumes takes ages to get rid of

There is far greater risk of an explosion from the exhaust manifold, or a static spark from your clothing.

I have arguments with those behind the tills, not because I have used my phone, I just like to ask them if they know why you are not allowed to use a mobile phone. Invariably they all say it is because of the risk of explosion.
I will ask them if they ever use their mobile while sitting in the back of their friends car? They do know they are sat within a couple of feet of a massive bomb?
Most petrol tanks are of a composite makeup now, the microwaves will go straight through them

I just wish they would tell you it was simply company policy (which is fair enough I think) other than some stupid fairy tale.

I've known about this for a few years, but did anyone see the program on the telly where they surrounded some open petrol containers with a dozen or more mobile phones? And then rang them all at once? Nothing happened of course, then they made some clothes give off some static electricity and BOOM!!!

I missed the program myself, but a couple of mates told me about it

Have a nice day now

Ian

Well there is your starter, anyone else got some examples of either misconceptions, fallacy's or old wives tales that either make them smile or irritate them?

Ian

[matt]

that was fairly interesting

the things you learn every day

[windows_chepstow]

...its not worth cleaning those windows because its going to rain

This hasn't been said much to me, but on the rare occasion it has, it's by some old tightwad who'd prefer you to give them a miss and save him some dosh.  It's a bit like phoning BT and saying, 'Look, I'm off on holiday for two weeks, can I be refunded my line rental for that period'?

In reply, I just tell 'em, 'That's an extra fiver for a rain water rinse', and crack on with cleaning. (I plaguarised the line from this site.)

However, the misconception I hate the most is that all window cleaners are too thick to get a 'proper job'.  It's, I assume, normally assumed by the general populace.  Only recently after chatting with one customer, he asked me in rather incredulous tones, 'Why are you a window cleaner?', as if it's obviously a low paid, menial, trivial occupation, and I should be able to do better.

I think he thought it was a compliment towards me, suggesting I had a brain cell or two.  Obviously he was wrong on all counts!  (There's joke in there somewhere, before some wit gets stuck into me).

Oh, and another customer has recently attempted to recruit me into the police force (I told him the pay wasn't good enough; and besides I wasn't thick enough).

[rosskesava]

We drive around in a converted hearse done up to look like something out of a film.

In big big letters it has sign written ' WINDOW CLEANERS'. (It also has written 'we also do internals'.)

I lost count of how many times I've been asked 'do you clean windows'? Mind you I've been asked that WHILE cleaning windows.



While cleaning a ladies windows she asked me what I did for a living.

A few weeks back while cleaning a shop window someone asked me if we did shop windows.

I've been stopped by a person (idiot) during our commercial round and asked for helpfull tips for when he does his own windows with a mop and squeegie. I told him to add half a bottle of fairy per 2 pints of water and a cup of salt.

I once told a customer I was previously a train driver and he asked me if I knew the train times from Newhaven to Victoria in the mornings?

The best one lately was on a first clean of some first floor office windows that didn't open. The job spec was outsides and insides. While up a ladder doing the outside someone from the company came outside and asked us how were we going to do the insides as the windows didn't open................

Another good one from this week was 'how do you know what length ladder to use'?

[gaza]

HERE GOES reply to why are you a window cleaner ,cus i dont want to work as a battery hen in a chicken coup, his next breath he stated carnt stop be late for work,my reply was exactly.Iwent to my van lit a fAg up had a cup of tea feeling smug,mission acomplised.

[dustycorner]

I was once up my ladder cleaning a bathroom window when i heard a woman shout are you a window cleaner i replied no i'm a posh burglar, in a deadpan tone she said "my husbands inside for that" and yes she was being serious.

Cheers Mark.

[AuRavelling79]

Ross - as you know ten window cleaners die every year from ladder falls (or is this an old wives tale) - have you ever thought of opening a side-line where you could use your hearse for the funerals.

Scene (local crem)

Ross driving at 3 mph with dead comrade in rear.
Rosses colleague walking ahead carrying deceased's pointer ladder upright in front of hearse.
Rosses other colleague handing out cards calling out "need your windows cleaned luv?"
Also hand out flyers saying:-

We are sorry that old __________(name of deceased) has passed away......
From his ladder he did fall.........
So if you need your windows cleaned today.....
Give the driver a quick call..........

Poll .... how many minutes before one of the moderators removes this post?

[Ian_Giles]

Lol,
Nice and irreverent Malc, I like that one!

Ian

[rosskesava]

Hi MalcG

I hadn't quiet considered being taken to my own funeral in my own work vehicle and legally.   

Yup, I or my partner would be handing out cards for window cleaning.  That's a certainty.

Did you know that a hearse's insurance is as a taxi?

The insurance companies don't distinguish between the living and the dead.

Our vehicle is insured as 1) a taxi 2) a hearse modified and 3) a hearse used for commercial purposes other than as a hearse.

Serious.

We've got to know some of the local funeral car drivers and although whilst 'with body in state' they won't wave back at us they do smile as they go past as best they can.

Better than that, today we got a new commercial job for a lady funeral director (plus associated florist's) ..... beat that. All because we have a hearse and a relivately older one also.

And .... last year 2 window cleaners died out of an estimated 18 000. (I worked on the railways and out of a total of approx 23 000 workers 17 died in 2002.) I don't think we'd get much business...........  but the comments we get about doing our own cheap funerals is incredible.

Also the comment about 'my wife could do with a short drive in there' type thing happens often.

Did you know also that a hearse takes at least two coffins? One on the 'decking' and one underneath?

And it has built in extractor fans to remove the smell?

And most have adjustable hydraulic suspension for a smooth ride for the person who is dead?

[texas girl]

Are we smart or what?

Being in the window cleaning business is one of the most overlooked positions in the world that can lead to success!

Oh my; I have heard it all! "You can do my windows; see that car over there?"  What an idiot I always thought to myself; so smiling; I would answer; "sure; got fifty bucks?"

A good one was actually created by my ex husband; when someone said" I don't know why you clean the windows; they will just get dirty again".

He frequently replied" So do your under wear but you change them every day don't you?"

Ignorance of what the world knows about our proffession is OK.  We will laugh all the way to the bank; and have less competition!

Then there are the headphones you pretend are on, or have them low; yet act as though you can't hear anyone.

A book I could write about my window cleaning experiences; but some of it may be X rated!

No kidding; I was attacked literally by a dentist once!  Oh my! I was  worried and was cornered and alone. Cleaning his windows at his house; and there are other stories.

Then there was the experience with the mayor; and others.

Have any of you been mugged? Approached by beggars?

Interesting. Hope you are having a great week!

Hugs as always,

Texas Girl

[windows_chepstow]

I was attacked literally by a dentist once!  Oh my! I was  worried and was cornered and alone. Cleaning his windows at his house

Did you leave some streaks or something?

[AuRavelling79]

Laurence Olivier did that to Dustin Hoffman if I remember the film correctly, Texas.

Dentist played by Olivier "Is it safe?"
Victim played by Hoffman "It's safe! Ow!Ow!Ow!"

[texas girl]

I have to admit I did not show up dressed as a nun to clean the windows; but not as a harlot either.

This guy was out of hand! He had watched me previously when I was doing the windows, but I had a boyfreind and was not looking for another one!

Needless to say, I have not been back since; too bad because I had done his windows for 4 years.

I did not want to do his "other things" whatever he had in mind.

Maybe he thought he was "all that" because he was very wealthy.  Except when it came to character.

All the money in the world will not buy character. And character is the most important trait that is valueable.

A famous person once said that character is your behavior when no one else is looking but yourself.

True integrety or selfishness. Someone is always watching.

So we had better behave!

Hugs, 
Texas Girl

[D.Salkeld_Ltd]

Bet no ones haerd of this one.......................












"Missed a bit Mate!"