Well done Helen
Never give in to them there are sooooo many more staff out there to choose from but they only have a limited amount of quality employers so who needs who more lol
Another point on staff is you must stop seeing them as friends or that they are doing you a favour or worse still that you cannot manage without them.
The minute they take your money they are no longer friends they are employees, you can bet they don't see you as a friend only as the wage payer.
I was given a book on the subject of staff of how important they are as individuals and how to mentor them support them wipe their a**es for them sorry but basically look after your staff and they will look after you.
YEAH RIGHT
The systems you set within your business are the important issues, they stick and work for you forever not like the staff. Its not what skills the staff have, it is can they follow your systems.
Don't believe me ? how many different ways are there to clean a window? Just read this forum and there are hundreds of different styles.But as an employer there is only one way to clean a window ...your way.
If you can design a system of "how to" and show the staff how to follow this system you will be able to achieve the same standard of finish everytime, just as if you did it yourself.The individual person or style doesn't matter, all they have to do is follow the system and you will get the same results time and time again no matter who does it.
So it doesn't matter who the staff are or what they are like just as long as you can make them understand your system.
A people business no way, they don't matter they are just like a hammer is to a joiner, a tool to do your job.
Although it can sound cold, I think you probably are right about setting some pretty firm boundaries with employees. It can help you in your business dealings but, in view of your past experiences, I believe it would be an effective way of maintaining good mental health too. Thinking of the processes rather than the humanity behind it can be a good protection. I don't know anything about running a business (other than as a sole trader) but I learnt plenty about mental health issues. If I had walked into a therapy room some years ago and been honest with a therapist about what was REALLY going on in my head, I think I might have been institutionalised for a while. How I managed to go so close to the edge without dropping off is still a puzzle to me when I look back. I was greatly concerned about all the things I would have to change if I made the one big change I needed. In the end I made that one big change and gradually the rest of the stuff fell into line around that. It would make more sense if I went into the details but I don't think that's the right thing to do on here. Suffice to say that the therapist asked my permission to have a student sit in on one of the sessions one day. I know this sounds pretty paranoid but I refused as I was concerned that he wanted a witness to the things I was saying (I refused).
That's mainly why I hold back on my business and choose to remain a sole trader. I have the intellectual capacity to expand my business, employ people and indeed, make a very large business out of it all. What I don't believe I have is the ability to cope with the stress. As they say, "Be careful what you wish for" (generic "you" that is).
Fortunately, it is possible to make some very decent money with WFP - even as a sole trader.
It's also why I'm glad to see Dave writing down a bit about his anxieties. It can be very cathartic.
Hi Shiner feel the fear and do it anyway does that sound familiar,get this book it`s by Susan Jeffers.From what you say you might know the author,i know what your on about and by the sounds of it you`ve come a long way brother. 
I've done some pretty fearful things in my life already and I didn't need a book to motivate me to do them
- yet one of the most fearful things I did was to go into therapy. To eventually start accepting that wherever I was/am in my life is as a result of all my past decisions.
I have read part of that book you refer to (maybe even all of it) and from what I remember, I feel there should be a caveat or two attached to it. When I read a self development book, I take the view that what is in the pages is only the opinion of the author and that some of it will be appropriate for me and some of it won't. Even getting to that point was a milestone because it meant I was learning to think more for myself instead of believing everything I read or, even worse, believing someone else's interpretation of what I read.
One of my favourite little gems is a book called "Your Erroneous Zones" by a certain Wayne Dyer. Different philosophy from "Feel the Fear ....." but an excellent read just the same.
