[rhys11]

below is a commercial canvassing letter as sold on ebay for £1

Ref:
Date

The Manager
Address


Dear Sirs

Your company name Service is a local family run business and have been cleaning windows in the domestic market for sometime; we have built up an excellent reputation through hard work competitive prices and good customer service. We are now expanding and are seeking contracts for work with local businesses.

Customers and visitors to your premises appreciate a professional image and if your windows do not shine what message does that send to them. It is time consuming to clean them yourself and expensive to have a contract with a large multinational company. A better alternative is to have them professionally cleaned by a local independently run company like company name. Our Window Cleaning service is competitively priced with an average shop front window costing as little as £?? Per week to be cleaned.

We use either the traditional method or the water fed pole system to clean your windows. Each of these processes leaves your windows squeaky clean. We can also clean the inside if your require.

We also offer a full money back satisfaction guarantee, just call us and we will return and clean your windows again for free and also refund you in full.

We value your business and to secure your custom offer to clean up to 15 square meters of ground floor windows free of charge so that you can judge our service at no risk. We hope you will consider using our service. We have enclosed our business card with this letter for future reference.



Yours faithfully



Your Name


RHYS

[Chris Cottrell]

what rubbish, my daughter could put a few lines down better than that

[rhys11]

what rubbish, my daughter could put a few lines down better than that

can she thay would realy help 

[aztec]

sorry to say this but if that came through my letterbox it would be in the bin, very unprofessional

[geefree]

This has been posted before, i dont have time or the notion to clean 15 windows ( sq metres ) for free.

that letter in my opinion is too congested, too much info, and too many special offers, and freebies.

I would be so uninterested ater the first two lines, it would be in the bin im afraid


Gary.

[geefree]

lets say you are an electrician,... 15 free sockets fitted, if you are not happy i will give you your money back, and replace your house re-wiring.


Nah, it aint right is it?

Promotions are one thing, but looking desperate is not good business sense.

[Grafters Cleaning Services]

what a load of rubbish, not professional at all

[D woods]

If you sent a reasonable amount of sales letters like the one above, and kept on doing it every month you would get a response from them.

[stuart@skypole]

I agree with D Woods,

this will get you noticed and is that not the point.

regards, Stuart
www.skypolewfp.com

[Sir Squeaky]

How is that unprofessional? 
That's pretty well written, and would impress most companies.

Why do people on here have to put everything down? :
Because it's not one of your little group of CIU freinds?
If it was, all you'd hear was "That's really good mate"

[robbie14000]

Well said squeaky.
At the end of the day they are trying to gain more work.
There are some people who do nothing and wait for work to come for them.
I stop my van anywhere if I think I can gain another contract.
Every weekend yellow pages out and we send 5 letters to commercial businesses.
Costs are small and we are being pro-active.
You sit still in business you are soon left behind.
Thanks Robbie

[D woods]

Over the years I have sent thousands and thousands of leaflets and sales letters, and I think the trick is to just keep them going out.

I have used lots of different designs and formats, and to be honest there does not seem to be much difference in the responce rates. It just seems to be a numbers game. The more you send out  ( keep hitting the same area) the more jobs you get to quote.

[Captain Scarlet]

wow. that is terrible! luke

[AJ]

If you send out only a few letters a week, try and get a name to address it to by calling and asking for eg. facilities manager.
An addressed letter will reach the right person, a 'Dear Sir/Madam' letter gets opened by the girl on the desk and binned.

[Count Phil]

Its fine. Don't be fooled into thinking that the person reading it knows how well written it really is. That's why he's in charge of the cleaning.

Its just the kind think that would work. Put them out in large numbers though.

[poleman]

Marketing! 

You have to get in the mind of what a customer wants or is thinking

I think its not that unprofessional, but does need to be shorter and more to the point (and address to the right person or it goes in the bin) 


Andy

[Dean Aspects]

Its not bad perhaps could be written better and a bit shorter but not a bad basis for a commercial letter

Dean

[keith b]

The sales letter would get binned in my opinion, why?; Too wordy, and it just does not get to the point quick enough - I would lose the will to live trying to read that!

Better off with 3 or 4 lines of litriture on headed paper with a seperate in- depth leaflet explaining your service in full. 

[Ian Rochester]

I started reading it and then couldn't be bothered.

Did it get my attention, obviously not.

I like to keep it short, do bullet points, is possible stick a picture in there.

[peter holley]

it starts off ok ....but free offers and money back is a little over the top....precise  , simple to read ,is the best way , ,,,who you are .... areas you cover...how long youve been in buisness.... method and fully insured.

target the same buisnesses a couple of times a year.... it's all about numbers and hiting the right buisness at the right time.....