[Grafters Cleaning Services]

I had a woman who used to say to me "Your not my window cleaner" I had to re-introduce myself everytime I went round. She also used to say I've already paid you. So I had to explain that she hadn't etc etc. Just before Christmas I turns up at her house and the same procedure as above. When I'd finished I was at my van, she told me to wait there while she went to get the money and "a little something as it's Christmas". So I waits by the van, 10 mins, no sign. I walked up and looked through the front window and she's sat there watching telly with a cup of tea. I knock on the window and she comes out and says "I've already paid" I shook my head, left and I'm not going back

priceless

[tartan cleaning]

should release a book would make a fortune!!!

[Franky2020]

Well done guys,funniest thread for a long time.

[*john garnett]

Well done guys,funniest thread for a long time.

Your new here I take it?

[xxmattyxx]

Well done guys,funniest thread for a long time.

Your new here I take it?

Not as new as you 

[tonyoliver]

i  also had one who told me
" if i am not in dont knock"

[Grafters Cleaning Services]

i  also had one who told me
" if i am not in dont knock"

again............ priceless

mind you i'm nearly as bad........ the over day i rang a customer (on her home number) to see if she was at home
she answered the phone and i said "are you in"?
she replied "yes"...........
then as an after thought i replied "ofcourse you are otherwise you could have not answered the phone"

she laughed and felt like a muppet

[JPWC]

A classic that I and probably you lot get quite often, is when you turn up at a new resi custy using WFP and who have not really heard of it before. You spend 15 minutes talking them through the process, frames, soffitts, drying clear etc etc and then they turn round and say "Do you want to use my outside tap!!" aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!

[dai]

I once had a customer that told me her husband had this big thing, and was going to do them himself.
I burst out laughing, well wouldn't you? The mental image stuck with me all day. It subsequently turned out that this big thing was one of those poles with a squeegee on from the market. Dai

[*john garnett]

I turned up one day and this big-boobed teen leaned out the windows and said 'what you doing with that big long thing mister?'.  True storey.  She was fit as well.  (legal teen btw)

[Sanity]

Should have said 'Im gonna make it longer and squirt all over ya windows...'

[Old_Master]

Window cleaners also say funny things.

We had a customer telephone last week  to say he hadnt ordered carriage shown on the invoice and  it wasnt in the box with the rest of things he had ordered.

ooops he may be on this forum

[Paul Coleman]

Window cleaners also say funny things.

We had a customer telephone last week  to say he hadnt ordered carriage shown on the invoice and  it wasnt in the box with the rest of things he had ordered.

ooops he may be on this forum

I bet he was rummaging through the box looking for a vat as well   

[xxmattyxx]

Having jsut gone over to WFP Ive been explaining the hows and whys of it, pure-water etc, evaporates bla de bla.

Anyway one of my custys said she had a pole too and used to use it to do her windows, she said she used to use it with just a dab of Fairy in the water 

'rightie-oh luv', oi says, 

[*john garnett]

People are morons at heart.

[Stevie G]

What's with the 'madam' when you talk to 'customers'?

It's over polite & old fashioned.   

[AuRavelling79]

What's with the 'madam' when you talk to 'customers'?

It's over polite & old fashioned.   

I use this when being stiffly polite in a confrontational situation - I feel it gets the message across that you are tolerating their unreasonableness but will not be messed around with.

Generally my customers are on first name terms.

[vision tech]

this is true ,dont laugh,Ihave a customer that is blind and lives on his own,he phoned me on my mobile last week to ask when will i be round again as you have not been round for 2 mths and my windows need cleaned.
I was going to add that he could not see out because of the dirt,but then you would not believe me.

[xxmattyxx]

this is true ,dont laugh,Ihave a customer that is blind and lives on his own,he phoned me on my mobile last week to ask when will i be round again as you have not been round for 2 mths and my windows need cleaned.
I was going to add that he could not see out because of the dirt,but then you would not believe me.

I used to have a blind lady whos windows I cleaned, I always assumed she had them done as I thought its just one of those jobs that people always have done, always have and always will regardless, then again maybe she did it so when people visited her THEY could see out.

[simbag]

Got a customer that requires me to phone her to let her know that I'm coming even though there is no issues with access. When I phone and the husband picks up, I say who it is and that I'll be round tomorrow, he tell me to wait, while he gets his wife (wonder who wears the trousers there?!).

Anyway, I when i changed from trad to wfp, I explained the reasons etc etc, and she then proceeds to ask me wipe the water off the sills! I'm a little bemused, I tell her the water will not harm them but she is worried about the water seeping in, and the frames rotting (wooden frames obviously). Well perhaps she should get them repainted then... Anyhow, as its a good little job I just decide to do the bottoms trad in future to save the hassle, but I, like others did want to mention the rain issue but decided to bite my tongue.

Well that is until one day I go back and do them as above. There is a bench in the garden under one of the windows, she has asked me to pull it away from the wall so that it doesn't get wet, now this particular day I didn't. This particular day it was raining, so I decided on a little test  So I start on the window and lo behold, she appears at the ground floor window making gestures toward the bench saying 'I asked you to move it', i looked at it and looked at the sky and said 'The water is no more harmful than the rain coming from the sky!', to which she gets a little flustered saying 'Yes, well....' then walks off!

Funny thing is she comes out 2 mins later with a cup of tea and a small selection of biscuits, as she does every time I visit!