This one will get deleted
I'm glad I went wfp, and carry my ladders very little now!
Now I don't know whether you would be interested but I am at present in the throes of developing the "perfect ladder" which you are so diligently seeking.
Provisionally dubbed "The Alco-Reach" it' is an ingeniously designed tool to ensure that the professional shiner is happy and refreshed as he undertakes his daily travails
It's main feature is the 12 pints of lager which are stored in the hollow handrail and rungs which is fed to the thirsty operative by means of a small cunningly concealed pump and a length of tubing which emerges from the top of the handrail at roughly mouth level.
I have developed 2 different models. Firstly "The Lightweight" this is specifically aimed at the Geddy type of shiner who can't hold their grog to save their life. This model is filled with a weak gnats p lager of the Fosters ilk and features an optional Paracetemol dispenser.
Then there is "The Artist" a real mans ladder brimfull of Tennants Super and featuring a small concealed button which when pressed will allow a small lavatory bowl to pop out from one of the lower rungs so that the woozy shiner can quickly and safely relieve himself without the irksome necessity of stopping drinking. Clever or what?
A small radio is also incorporated in the design which will automatically play a selection of tried and trusted drinking anthems such as "Show me the way to go home" and My old man said follow the van"
A crafty failsafe mechanism is also installed whereupon small sensors in the rungs will detect whether the operative has had such a skinfull that safety is at risk due to unsteadiness or vomiting.
This little gadget will deploy a boxing glove on a spring which will knock the $hit-faced shiner from his perch whilst simultaneously deploying small air bag which will emerge from the bottom rung to ensure a comfy and pain free landing.
After 2 hours another robotic hand will deploy and hurl a glass of ice cold water into the face of the comatose workman before gently placing him back in his vehicle.
And now the coup de grace. The ladder will then place itself back on the roof rack and drive the blissfully contented diamond polisher back to his place of residence and tell his missus that he's exhausted after a long day and to let him rest
I hope this helps
PS I'm also working on a highly innovative and groundbreaking design for the more effeminate shiner "The LFP" or Lemonade Fed Pole.
Joe has already ordered 2