[MJH]

i believe it or not take safety seriously, after a hard days work yesterday i was not concentrating(i hate to admit) as i should have been, due to a combination of talking and watching a drunk fall face down in the middle of the road i forgot to secure my ladders to my van roof rack!!

yes the inevitable happened, as i went down the hill my ladders catapulted through the air and took a nice chunk out of my (new van) bonnet, thank god there were no parked cars or pedestrians in the area, i was seriously Peed off!!!

Has anyone else done anything as dumb as that?

[A Beardsley]

I was reading your post, then it got to "the inevitable happened" and I thought, oh my god your ladders flew off and hit the drunk bloke that you saw fall over .

[MJH]

i would have laughed not cried

[M & C Window Cleaning]

My dumb moment cost me a broken ankle which seven years down the line had to be fused. I'm only just getting back into the swing of things after a year off following two opps, and discovering the benefits of wonderful bits of kit called WFP and microfibre cloths.

Some years back however some kind soul pinched the bungees off the top of my car. Problem was they were securing my ladders at the time and I didn't notice. I drove right accross town (bout two miles) and when I got out of the car my ladders were lying diagonally across the roof bars. How they never came off I'll never know. I've since fitted stays so they can't slide arround too much in the event something similar happens again.

[xxmattyxx]

i believe it or not take safety seriously, after a hard days work yesterday i was not concentrating(i hate to admit) as i should have been, due to a combination of talking and watching a drunk fall face down in the middle of the road i forgot to secure my ladders to my van roof rack!!

yes the inevitable happened, as i went down the hill my ladders catapulted through the air and took a nice chunk out of my (new van) bonnet, thank god there were no parked cars or pedestrians in the area, i was seriously Peed off!!!

Has anyone else done anything as dumb as that?

That happened to me last week.

Fortunately it was a dry day and I ahd my window open. I just managed to grab the ladder from out the window and prevent it from doing a flyer like yours did.

Matt

[KarlJones]

I once got to a job, and realised that my ladders were still up at the last customers house.

[AuRavelling79]

When I was trad I used bungees for my ladders.

I was overtaking a lorry on a short stretch of dual carriageway when they flew off (at 60 mph) and landed on the grass central reservation without hitting anything.

[cybersye]

Glad to see a post from someone whos made a dumb ass mistake for a change, we are all human! I was beginning to have my doubts 

[cybersye]

oh, I just remember I once removed the 250ltr tank from my van to clean it, put it back in with the tap outlet open and not plumbed in to my pump. Filled it up fully, yep you guessed it flooded my van! 

[AuRavelling79]

With monotonous regularity - either every few weeks or every few months - I overfill my tank and soak my van.

Last year I did it in my car, filled the passenger footwell to a depth of two inches and couldn't work for two days until it dried out because a relay under the carpet had shorted out.

Numpty!

[jeff1]

This one will get deleted

I'm glad I went wfp, and carry my ladders very little now!

Now I don't know whether you would be interested but I am at present in the throes of developing the "perfect ladder" which you are so diligently seeking.
Provisionally dubbed "The Alco-Reach" it' is an ingeniously designed tool to ensure that the professional shiner is happy and refreshed as he undertakes his daily travails
It's main feature is the 12 pints of lager which are stored in the hollow handrail and rungs which is fed to the thirsty operative by means of a small cunningly concealed pump and a length of tubing which emerges from the top of the handrail at roughly mouth level.
I have developed 2 different models. Firstly "The Lightweight" this is specifically aimed at the Geddy type of shiner who can't hold their grog to save their life. This model is filled with a weak gnats p lager of the Fosters ilk and features an optional Paracetemol dispenser.
Then there is "The Artist" a real mans ladder brimfull of Tennants Super and featuring a small concealed button which when pressed will allow a small lavatory bowl to pop out from one of the lower rungs so that the woozy shiner can quickly and safely relieve himself without the irksome necessity of stopping drinking. Clever or what?
A small radio is also incorporated in the design which will automatically play a selection of tried and trusted drinking anthems such as "Show me the way to go home" and My old man said follow the van"
A crafty failsafe mechanism is also installed whereupon small sensors in the rungs will detect whether the operative has had such a skinfull that safety is at risk due to unsteadiness or vomiting.
This little gadget will deploy a boxing glove on a spring which will knock the $hit-faced shiner from his perch whilst simultaneously deploying small air bag which will emerge from the bottom rung to ensure a comfy and pain free landing.
After 2 hours another robotic hand will deploy and hurl a glass of ice cold water into the face of the comatose workman before gently placing him back in his vehicle.
And now the coup de grace. The ladder will then place itself back on the roof rack and drive the blissfully contented diamond polisher back to his place of residence and tell his missus that he's exhausted after a long day and to let him rest
I hope this helps

PS I'm also working on a highly innovative and groundbreaking design for the more effeminate shiner "The LFP" or Lemonade Fed Pole.

Joe has already ordered 2

[Paul Coleman]

This one will get deleted

I'm glad I went wfp, and carry my ladders very little now!

Now I don't know whether you would be interested but I am at present in the throes of developing the "perfect ladder" which you are so diligently seeking.
Provisionally dubbed "The Alco-Reach" it' is an ingeniously designed tool to ensure that the professional shiner is happy and refreshed as he undertakes his daily travails
It's main feature is the 12 pints of lager which are stored in the hollow handrail and rungs which is fed to the thirsty operative by means of a small cunningly concealed pump and a length of tubing which emerges from the top of the handrail at roughly mouth level.
I have developed 2 different models. Firstly "The Lightweight" this is specifically aimed at the Geddy type of shiner who can't hold their grog to save their life. This model is filled with a weak gnats p lager of the Fosters ilk and features an optional Paracetemol dispenser.
Then there is "The Artist" a real mans ladder brimfull of Tennants Super and featuring a small concealed button which when pressed will allow a small lavatory bowl to pop out from one of the lower rungs so that the woozy shiner can quickly and safely relieve himself without the irksome necessity of stopping drinking. Clever or what?
A small radio is also incorporated in the design which will automatically play a selection of tried and trusted drinking anthems such as "Show me the way to go home" and My old man said follow the van"
A crafty failsafe mechanism is also installed whereupon small sensors in the rungs will detect whether the operative has had such a skinfull that safety is at risk due to unsteadiness or vomiting.
This little gadget will deploy a boxing glove on a spring which will knock the $hit-faced shiner from his perch whilst simultaneously deploying small air bag which will emerge from the bottom rung to ensure a comfy and pain free landing.
After 2 hours another robotic hand will deploy and hurl a glass of ice cold water into the face of the comatose workman before gently placing him back in his vehicle.
And now the coup de grace. The ladder will then place itself back on the roof rack and drive the blissfully contented diamond polisher back to his place of residence and tell his missus that he's exhausted after a long day and to let him rest
I hope this helps

PS I'm also working on a highly innovative and groundbreaking design for the more effeminate shiner "The LFP" or Lemonade Fed Pole.

Joe has already ordered 2

Hope it doesn't get deleted 
Always room for humour around here.
Have you got one that dispenses chocolate?

[Paul Coleman]

i believe it or not take safety seriously, after a hard days work yesterday i was not concentrating(i hate to admit) as i should have been, due to a combination of talking and watching a drunk fall face down in the middle of the road i forgot to secure my ladders to my van roof rack!!

yes the inevitable happened, as i went down the hill my ladders catapulted through the air and took a nice chunk out of my (new van) bonnet, thank god there were no parked cars or pedestrians in the area, i was seriously Peed off!!!

Has anyone else done anything as dumb as that?

I've driven off without securing ladders a few times over the years.  The only time it came off was when I went around a bend on a housing estate.  It slid down the side of my old Escort van and knocked the handle off the driver's side door.  They slid across the road and into a car that was parked there.  Fortunately the ladder was at road level by then and there was no damage to the car.  It made a heck of a racket and the car owner came out to see what was up.  I couldn't believe there was no mark on her car but I suppose it just caught her tyres rather than any metalwork.  I felt a right plonker.
I had to get into the van via the passenger side till I got the handle sorted.

[Paul Coleman]

I once got to a job, and realised that my ladders were still up at the last customers house.

I've done that a few times.
In fact, only today I left my bucket containing my hand tools in someone's garden.

[jeff1]

This one will get deleted

I'm glad I went wfp, and carry my ladders very little now!

Now I don't know whether you would be interested but I am at present in the throes of developing the "perfect ladder" which you are so diligently seeking.
Provisionally dubbed "The Alco-Reach" it' is an ingeniously designed tool to ensure that the professional shiner is happy and refreshed as he undertakes his daily travails
It's main feature is the 12 pints of lager which are stored in the hollow handrail and rungs which is fed to the thirsty operative by means of a small cunningly concealed pump and a length of tubing which emerges from the top of the handrail at roughly mouth level.
I have developed 2 different models. Firstly "The Lightweight" this is specifically aimed at the Geddy type of shiner who can't hold their grog to save their life. This model is filled with a weak gnats p lager of the Fosters ilk and features an optional Paracetemol dispenser.
Then there is "The Artist" a real mans ladder brimfull of Tennants Super and featuring a small concealed button which when pressed will allow a small lavatory bowl to pop out from one of the lower rungs so that the woozy shiner can quickly and safely relieve himself without the irksome necessity of stopping drinking. Clever or what?
A small radio is also incorporated in the design which will automatically play a selection of tried and trusted drinking anthems such as "Show me the way to go home" and My old man said follow the van"
A crafty failsafe mechanism is also installed whereupon small sensors in the rungs will detect whether the operative has had such a skinfull that safety is at risk due to unsteadiness or vomiting.
This little gadget will deploy a boxing glove on a spring which will knock the $hit-faced shiner from his perch whilst simultaneously deploying small air bag which will emerge from the bottom rung to ensure a comfy and pain free landing.
After 2 hours another robotic hand will deploy and hurl a glass of ice cold water into the face of the comatose workman before gently placing him back in his vehicle.
And now the coup de grace. The ladder will then place itself back on the roof rack and drive the blissfully contented diamond polisher back to his place of residence and tell his missus that he's exhausted after a long day and to let him rest
I hope this helps

PS I'm also working on a highly innovative and groundbreaking design for the more effeminate shiner "The LFP" or Lemonade Fed Pole.

Joe has already ordered 2

Hope it doesn't get deleted
Always room for humour around here.
Have you got one that dispenses chocolate?

I tried to do a chocolate one   but with the lack of Facilities  to keep it Hot and the worry of the shiner burning his hands on the ladder, I decided against it after the chocolate set hard in the ladder, I spent several weeks dipping bits of the ladder into a bowl of hot water just to remove the chocolate

I will try again once someone comes up with the idea of producing hot water for windows, But I do believe Ionics are interested in producing the chocolate one, providing you pay for it with chocolate money.

[Spruce]

Reminds me of the Beer Scooter email that did the rounds a few years back

The Beer Scooter...
 
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking
and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot
piece together your return journey from the pub to your house. The answer to
this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.
The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to ‘The
Drunk’ by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:
The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter.
The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'
Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries).
An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time
segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates
that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third
question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'
With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.
Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. With recent models
including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain
specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question
answered!!
For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from
other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half.
Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the
house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS
(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get
home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

[JM123]

I've driven 32miles to the first job of the day before realising that not only have I forgotten to bring the 40ft modular but infact have forgotten to bring:

a) co worker
b) battery

Not a good start to the day.

[groundhog]

Yes I also have to confess to forgetting to secure my ladder on several occassions, luckily it has only came off once although I was totally oblivious to this, a bloke in a BMW was following very close behind me and kept flashing his lights and gesticulating at me I finally had enough of this and pulled over to have a word with him, he informed me that my ladders had flown off 2 miles down the road and just missed him, I appologised and drove back just in time as a couple of pikies were loading them into their truck

[Davew]

So far: I've cleaned the wrong house, flooded someones hall, flooded my kitchen when the handles broke on a bucket of hot soapy water for a conservatory roof clean (big insurance claim you wouldn't believe). Left my poles at home, trod on two fishing poles, left a set of ladders behind and often left pole sections in peoples gardens. :

[Tom@clearview]

    get this one!!driving between jobs one friday afternoon through a local park, trailer in tow with my lawn mowing stuff in it when  a scrapping sound drowned out the radio for a second or two, thought nothing of it and carried on to the next job, turned to get the ladders off the roof ,gone !!? suddenly remembered the noise , then i noticed the point in the trailer, acted cool tock it out and cleaned on !!
  ladyluck was a lookin on me that day!!