[Ian_Giles]

On friday morning I cleaned a brand new account, a lovely young lady, early 20's and really pleased to find a window cleaner to do her windows.

After finishing the job I was chatting to her over a cuppa and a couple of digestive biscuits, she was asking me about what to use to clean the inside of her windows.

I told her I would go to the van (we were chatting in her garden) and get a microfibre cloth and some window cleaning spray.

Now while we were chatting I disturbed her cat, that shot over the fence and hid under the van.
As I went to close the side door on the van, after going to fetch the bits & pieces to show the customer (she had followed me out the the van) as the van door slammed shut, the cat shot out like a startled rabbit, hit the fence at a 100 mph and disappeared over the top.
"Strewth! That's a lively ginger pussy you have there!" I exclaimed
Only to cringe the moment I said it, it's no longer a word you should use is it? Not when the person concerned is female!
"Well, yes." She replied as I glanced at her, cringing inside at my fau-pas, and then my ears really began to burn as I realised she was a red head!

Oh for a hole to open up and swallow you

How many of you have blurted out something really embarrassing, you know the kind of thing,, before you can stop yourself the words have left your mouth, and like a loony tune's cartoon you have grown buck teeth and jackass ears

Ian

[D.Salkeld_Ltd]

 Ian,

Oh yes
Like it

I could fill your topic with replies

Once I was in the litlle cafe I pop in for a cuppa (and skive :) occasionally.
I was talking to a regular, a local bus driver.  He was on about a change of his job that would require travel.  Now he has a Reliant Plastic Pig three wheeler and was concerned about the travel in it.
"Yeah," I said"You could take your car test and get a car"

David

[clean team]

I WAS DOING A BUILDERS CLEAN AT A SCHOOL FOR DISABLED CHILDREN AND WAS SPEAKING TO A WOMAN ABOUT THE SCHOOL KIDS. THERE WAS A PHOTO ON THE SIDE AND I SAID IS THAT ONE OF YOUR PUPILS TO WHICH SEE ANGRILY REPLIED (NO THAT'S MY SON) OOPS   DID A SHARP EXIT

[Bobs Window Cleaning]

A lady once asked me to clean her windows, so I asked how I would get to her back ones.

Her reply was......."oh you can get your ladder and come up my back passage"?

I didnt know where to look.

    bob

[SherwoodCleaningSe]

I was doing some inside office windows and the wallpaper on this young lads computer was buffy the vampire slayer.  I jokingly make a comment to my wife who is also my work partner when we've finished.
Next month she cleans his windows and said that I liked the picture on his computer, he'd only gone and changed it to a picture of his girlfriend.  Now my wife cleans that window every time.

[brett walker]

gets me when the lady customer asks how often do you come  

brett

[pjulk]

I have a customer with a bush under her window and when you clean the window you can't help to lean against it as its a large bush and it got a weird smell it lets off.

Well she came out one day and i was stinking off this bush as i just cleaned that window.

And i turned round to her and said when are you going to get your smelly bush trimmed as it stinks whenever i go near it.

Well i had my brother with me and he was just in stitches.
And the woman had a chuckle to.
I didn't realise what i said until it was to late.

Paul

[jouk45]

he he

[007 or what]

i once said Congratulations to a lady costomer she replied with why are you congratulating me i said on your pregnacy she replied i'm not pregnant!

[KJG]

gets me when the lady customer asks how often do you come  

brett

My all time favourite

[captain lard]

Great thread, me and my wife have been crying laughing.

[Paul Coleman]

This isn't from window cleaning but was pretty funny and a little embarassing.
A few years ago I got four numbers up on the lottery.  When I checked, the prize was £69 (yes you know what's coming here)     .  Anyway, I went into the newsagent very first thing on the Sunday morning still a little sleepy.  As it was a small local newsagent it was possible tat they didn't have much money in the till so early so I asked the girl behind the counter "Can you handle 69".  I still didn't realise what I had said until the guy behind me startted roaring with laughter.  Oops !!
She was a good sport about it 

[Trevor Knight]

My worst ever moment, I was cleaning the insides of a Care Home Residential Flat for the daughter who's mother had just died.

The front door was sprung loaded so I put my bucket by the door to keep it open.

Anyway, back and forth, happily cleaning away talking to the daughter. Walking to the bucket I kicked it with my foot.

Daughter says" oop's, be careful, don't want you tripping over"

My dumb thoughtless head up bum comment back " don't worry, I won't kick the bucket yet"!!!!!!

PLEASE ground swallow me up NOW!!

[xxmattyxx]

Just last Friday, one of my customers came out, I could she was down and depressed; she was close to tears in fact.

Anyway she told me that her GP had popped round to visit her and had only just told her she'd just been diagnosed with lung and kidney cancer.
Christ, I hate it when people have that kind of stuff to deal with, I NEVER know what to say. And in true 'Matt Shut Ur Gob' style I proceeded to try to make her feel better by telling her it was at least a lovely day !!

Why do I bother getting up sometimes, I doubt very much she felt the same way. As I was saying it I was thinking Shut up, but I just couldnt help myself.


Anyway, I always laugh to myself when punters ask do I do insides. Yea, but I charge more   

[nat]

this is nothing to do with window cleaning but relevant to the subject all the same

I was in Majorca many years ago when i see this really old (50 ish) lady walking around with an illuminous pink costume on, it was tiny and not very flattering to her old wrinkly body, she looked like she was a bit of an old sought. a few days pass when i meet these other guys in the hotel bar, we were having a drink when this old lady walks down the stairs in her cossy, i turn to one of the guys and say"check out this old bird, look at the state of that!" to which he replied "thats my mother!" i got up and walked away very quickly

[rugby]

 ( 50 old ? im almost 50 

[marc al]

    Pregnant women are an absolute minefield - I now have decided not to say a word about pregnancy after the last 2 times

  1  - asked a customer if she had the baby yet? Yes she said, a month and a half ago!!

   2  - a customer told me I had just caught her as she was about to go to the hospital, I said I hope its nothing serious. She then proceeded to tell me she was going in to have the birth induced as she was 2 weeks overdue!!

         In my defence they are both "big girls"

[nat]

( 50 old ? im almost 50 

don't wear a little pink cossy then 

[simon knight]

Having arranged an appointment with a customer I ended the conversation with            : OK see you next tuesday.

Oi Nat I'm crowding 50 and look alright in a pink cozzy

[rugby]

if i could be lying on a beach in majorca right now i could care less what i was wearing,even a little pink cossy   maybe not