Here's a better one - it works best with wooden gates and no CCTV.
1. Check where the bolt/padlock is.
If below waist height apply size 11 boot hard.
If above waist height apply shoulder.
2. Blame local Chav's for damage by leaving a note saying:-
Dear customer,
Imagine my surprise when upon making my way to the rear of your property I found the gate hanging in a lopsided manner.
As i rounded the corner a young man in a "hoodie" ran off over the back fence.
I have checked all around your property and thankfully there is no sign of a break-in.
Yours faithfully
Squeaky Luddite - Klean
Window cleaner to the gentry