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jay moley

  • Posts: 482
Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« on: August 11, 2024, 10:49:39 am »
I haven't posted in ages but some of my previous posts were about how much I hated the job and how I was depressed around it.

Well three months ago I did some CBT counselling specifically aimed at these feelings.

Without exaggerating it's been life changing. I no longer hate the job and while I don't love it, it is completely manageable. I rarely get stressed at work and even  irritations like the hose getting caught no longer bother me.

The focus of the counselling was aligning my values with the job. These were: being a provider for my family, being a hard worker and making my girlfriend and Dad proud.

She also taught me to have something to look forward to each day, even something small. For me it was things like playing darts, going to swim and sauna and watching a football match on TV etc.

If you are struggling I'd really consider it. You can find a counsellor/therapist online:

https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists   (Other websites out there if you google).

Other things I've found helpful are meditating (I use the headspace app, just 10 mins a day) and journaling even if it's just a few sentences, doesn't have to be long. Most phones have a free app for it or you can just use notes if you have an iPhone.

Hopefully this may be useful.

Not sure the CBT is going to help with 30c temperatures tomorrow tho!

Ggh

  • Posts: 1776
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2024, 01:57:03 pm »
Good for you mate :)

simon w

  • Posts: 1647
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2024, 02:07:08 pm »
To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.

Scottish Cleaning Service

  • Posts: 383
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2024, 02:33:45 pm »
That's the reason I like to do add-ons. A bit of verity in any job makes it more interesting. I know if I put all my effort into window cleaning then I would be pretty rich because I have all the gear. Yesterday I sanded a PW job that I was cleaning for 6hrs a week ago. It was a great earner and then I got asked to lower a slab that was a trip hazard. Only took 10 minutes but made her day knowing she wouldn't be tripping over it no more. Good to see you are back on the right path again.

AuRavelling79

  • Posts: 25379
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2024, 03:53:01 pm »
To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.

Dazmond, is that you?

(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)
It's a game of three halves!

Smudger

  • Posts: 13438
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2024, 04:20:30 pm »
Good to see you’ve found a solution- well done
Never argue with an idiot, they will only bring you down to their level, and beat you with experience

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2024, 08:03:56 pm »
To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.

Dazmond, is that you?

(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)

Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄

Only work 4 days a week now too....😎

CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...

Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍
price higher/work harder!

simon w

  • Posts: 1647
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2024, 08:29:47 pm »
To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.

Dazmond, is that you?

(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)

Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄

Only work 4 days a week now too....😎

CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...

Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍

You given the keys back for the council flat yet Daz?

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2024, 10:18:38 pm »
To be honest I never thought it could have been caused by the job. I've been window cleaning for over 20 years 5-6 days a week and just love it, never take holidays apart from Christmas and bank holidays, I enjoy every day at work and love all aspects of it. Never take it for granted and count my blessings for going down the route I took some 20 years ago.

Dazmond, is that you?

(Oh, just noted about the holidays - just ignore me.)

Sounds depressing with no holidays!👍😂....off to Lanzarote for 10 days at the end of the month!👍😄

Only work 4 days a week now too....😎

CBT has helped loads of people...its not the job that causes depression.people with mental health issues will still have them no matter what job they do...its about finding a solution that works for you...

Well done to the OP for finding his solution 👏 👍

You given the keys back for the council flat yet Daz?

No....everything's being held up.....I feel sorry for my stepdaughter as she's a teacher so shes off for the summer holidays until the start of September and it looks like the end of the month when she gets the keys to her first house!her partners dad has took a week off work too for nothing!

It's very frustrating when your in a chain...

I'm happy to stay in my flat until after my holiday now.probably looking at October now before I move in fully with my missus
price higher/work harder!

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2024, 10:25:13 pm »
My solution for keeping in good health is simple really...

Diet
Exercise
Sleep
Hobbies
Family time
Occasionally helping alcoholics/addicts

Obviously no alcohol,cigarettes or street drugs...
price higher/work harder!

Slacky

  • Posts: 8278
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2024, 11:03:50 pm »
Are you doing meetings again Daz?

simon w

  • Posts: 1647
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2024, 07:18:04 am »
Are you doing meetings again Daz?

Think he had another relapse last year and almost got arrested. Had the AA symbol tattoo on his pint/gin & tonic hand and is going to meetings again. I bet he's a massive inspiration to those at the meetings. Business man, own van, three holidays a year, only works 3 days a week/short hours  ;D

Scottish Cleaning Service

  • Posts: 383
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2024, 12:49:21 pm »
I'm pretty lucky because I'm allergic to alcohol, only wish it was also gambling. I trade currency and after decades I'm actually getting good at it. It all comes down to greed. I only trade a maximum of a pound a point so don't lose or win much but I enjoy it. That's the reason window cleaning fits in really well.

Stoots

  • Posts: 6211
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2024, 02:35:26 pm »
Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.

Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try

did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience

as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....




jay moley

  • Posts: 482
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2024, 04:35:37 pm »
Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.

Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try

did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience

as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....

Private. Was £80 a session for 12 sessions but the best money I've ever spent. Go for it.

Scrimble

  • Posts: 2047
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2024, 05:28:31 pm »
Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.

Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try

did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience

as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....

Why not just look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself to stop pretending that there is something wrong with you

I don't believe in depression and somehow I am immune

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2024, 07:00:04 pm »
Ive had depression all my adult life and it comes and goes in serverity. Been to the docs multiple times and had lots of different tablets in the past. Done a little bit of CBT years ago but i didnt really give it a chance as its seemed a bit rubbish.

Tbh last 5 or 10 years ive just got on with it with a lot of moaning but after reading your post i really should give the CBT another try

did you do it through the nhs or private ? ive only tried it through the nhs which may be why it was a poor experience

as a side note obviously diet, gym, and life events influence your happiness but if you are clinically depressed it wont make enough difference to the emptyness you can feel.... some of the most successfull, rich people in the world have topped themselves....

Get a puppy....its impossible to be depressed when you look after a dog/animal.it takes the focus off YOU...
price higher/work harder!

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #17 on: August 13, 2024, 07:05:21 pm »
Emptiness in your soul is because your not doing anything worthwhile for other people/animals,etc....

It's amazing how most problems are really just self centred BS....as soon as you help others your cup starts to fill up and the emptiness just evaporates and is replaced with love and gratitude
price higher/work harder!

dazmond

  • Posts: 23966
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #18 on: August 13, 2024, 07:27:20 pm »
I really believe most of the modern day depression is just a spiritual malady....

Whether you like it or not we are spiritual beings,if your not a member of a religion or meditate regularly and have no structure in your life it's easy to think that the clamour for material possessions and wealth alone will makes us happy,or a line of cocaine,a shedload of alcohol,a cheap w*h*o*r*e and a flutter on the horses....

Of course it never does fully because the real happiness is deep down within all of us.its just obscured by clouds sometimes ⛅️
price higher/work harder!

DJW

  • Posts: 1008
Re: Depression/hating the job - possible solution
« Reply #19 on: August 13, 2024, 08:24:41 pm »
Easy to take the pee and preach if you don’t actually suffer from depression.