[jay moley]

I've suffered with serious depression in the past.

Last year has been great, back to work everything positive.

I've had some family trouble kick off in the last two weeks that doesn't have a real solution anytime soon and I've started going backwards again.

I've missed a few days work and just can't face it. Lying in bed until midday.

I know others have suffered with depression.

Any thoughts on what I should do?

I'm petrified that I'm going to go back to where I was.

Thanks

[britishwill]

Keep talking to people about it and let them know you are feeling a little low.
Try and do some sport even if it is only for 10 minutes.
down load some meditation/relax music.
See the doc about maybe starting some healthy minds course as others get depression too.
If not on some sort of medication maybe explore this with your doctor
Try and take time out to look after yourself as you are not the only person to go through a low period in your life or be petrified of going back to the what you remember your last depression was like.  Chances are this set back won't be half as bad.

Take it easy bud

[johnwillan]

Hi Jay

Really sorry to hear, I guess it's something we are all susceptible to and you're certainly not alone, life can be a real rollercoaster full of ups and downs.

Over the years I found work to be a great saviour, it gives me purpose, however this could be achieved in other ways too, hobbies etc. I also came to realise the only person that can hurt me is me i.e. I'm no longer affected by other peoples views and opinions, it's their issue not mine, likewise I can't fix other people, I can lend and ear and offer help & advice but in the end it's up to them.

Probably most important of all is the step you already taken, bring it to the men, talking is a great help

Keep well

John

[Richard iSparkle]

what the others have said.

i have had some periods of depression myself and it is not nice.

given the current circumstances though you are not alone. there is a lot of things that we all are genuinely worrying about at the moment regarding our health and our friends and families, as well as the country and the economy. sometimes we will all be feeling down and lacking motivation.

what is really good is that you recognise the signs that you are feeling depressed again, and you are looking for ways to help you through this period.

it is also positive that you have been through depression before, so you know that it will end, you will feel better again and you will be ok again.

i have always found it really useful talking to a therapist when things are getting on top of me, or if i am worrying about my mood.

it gets a lot off my chest and also means i'm not putting too much on my wife or friends. its good to have someone to talk to who is not involved with me. just there to support me

another thing that i found really helpful was setting myself REALLY manageable goals.

so for me that might be for example going into the office and doing 5 min work. so walking in, sitting down, and getting straight to work for 5 min, then leaving and getting on. goal achieved! after a week of this and some success, i would think about trying 10 minutes maybe.

for other people, at different stages their goal might be to get dressed in the morning, or just get up and clean your teeth. whatever it is, it needs to be something that you can manage easily. when you are ready to push it a little more do that. find the goal that you can hit, and nail it

hitting the goal, however small, gives you a sense of achievement, and it means you get a little forward momentum. building on this week on week, at a speed you can succeed at will get you on the road to feeling better again.

if you dont achieve the goal, dont beat yourself up. just recognise where you are at the moment, and that things are tough for you. then either revise down the goal, or try tomorrow.

also the samaritans are great if you need someone to talk to and cant get in touch with anyone else, or want to be anonymous.

sending you some positive vibes mate

[jay moley]

I'm considering dropping down to half days as I brighten up a bit in the afternoon. Better than nothing??

[Richard iSparkle]

I'm considering dropping down to half days as I brighten up a bit in the afternoon. Better than nothing??

Definitely.

Keep the routine of going to work going, keep moving.. Don’t push yourself to do more.

Let yourself recover And your mojo will come back In time.

Be kind to yourself

[david mark]

The weather gets to me .Can get me depressed. Never had depression when I lived in Florida strange

[Richard iSparkle]

The weather gets to me .Can get me depressed. Never had depression when I lived in Florida strange

True. I never had it in Australia. Even if you wake up feeling down, by the time you wonder outside the weather lifts you.

The rate Of Depression Much higher in Scandinavia... ESP over the winter there..

[tlwcs]

Hi Jay

Really sorry to hear, I guess it's something we are all susceptible to and you're certainly not alone, life can be a real rollercoaster full of ups and downs.

Over the years I found work to be a great saviour, it gives me purpose, however this could be achieved in other ways too, hobbies etc. I also came to realise the only person that can hurt me is me i.e. I'm no longer affected by other peoples views and opinions, it's their issue not mine, likewise I can't fix other people, I can lend and ear and offer help & advice but in the end it's up to them.

Probably most important of all is the step you already taken, bring it to the men, talking is a great help

Keep well

John

What a lovely post John, best I've read for a while.
Hope you start feeling better soon Jay
Tony

[AuRavelling79]

I've suffered with serious depression in the past.

Last year has been great, back to work everything positive.

I've had some family trouble kick off in the last two weeks that doesn't have a real solution anytime soon and I've started going backwards again.

I've missed a few days work and just can't face it. Lying in bed until midday.

I know others have suffered with depression.

Any thoughts on what I should do?

I'm petrified that I'm going to go back to where I was.

Thanks

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation Jay; depression made worse by family problems is horrible to experience.

In the short term, set your alarm for ten a.m., get up and shower and dress and make your bed. Eat breakfast, schedule three of your best/favourite customers and start on one of them. Take your time, chat and be friendly.

When you go back to your vehicle give yourself a pat on the back and ask yourself what harm will it do to do another customer? Rinse and repeat. If you only manage one give yourself a pat on the back.

When you succeed in doing three a day, up your schedule to four, then five.

You will have setbacks so don't beat yourself up. Two forward and one back is perfectly acceptable.

As others have said; get to the doc and tell'um how you are feeling.

Good luck!

[Suffolkcleaners]

Depression is horrible. I second the advice given on here to consider a counsellor/therapist. I’ve had depression twice   in my life and just on the brink of a third bout however I’ve had counselling for the last 3 and a half years and I’m feeling ok (ish) to not allow myself to go there again. For me I lost a sibling very young (40) and I am having weekly counselling to deal with that and of course other stuff does comes up.

Also by all means see the GP but from my experience they will just throw pills at you. Not saying Anti depressants won’t work(as they can work depending on the type of drug and person you are ) but personally talking things through and seeing a therapist is the best form of medication.

However bearing this all in mind it can very much depend on the counsellor and the connection you have. I tried several over the years to no avail and was determined to not give up and found a brilliant one now. I wouldn’t have got through the grievance of my sister without my counsellor. He  is worth every penny.

Hang in there. Depression is an illness and it can be so bad that a goal would be to get dressed for that day. I’ve been there a few times and depression is definitely different to just feeling down.

Also (so sorry to rant) can I ask if not too personal is your depression reactive or chemical? What I mean is has something in particular triggered this depression?

Wishing you all the best from a fellow depression sufferer.

BW 😀

[Suffolkcleaners]

Apologies I’ve just re read your original post in full and realise it’s reactive. As crazy as this sounds if it’s reactive in a weird way this can be positive in terms of the fact you can get some counselling to deal with this. At least you know what you’re depressed about.

If it’s chemical and not a reason as such this can be a bit more tricky and perhaps the medication route could be an option (although personally I’m not a big fan of just relying on pills bit sometimes this is necessary)

Get yourself booked in to see a therapist and this may help you to chat things through and get everything off your chest. You got nothing to lose trying one out at £40/50 or however much it is.

Good luck fella

[Shrek]

Iv noticed some of my customers change since lockdown. One woman used go to work all day , always dressed smart. She may be on furlough or working from home now I’m not sure but she’s always home. Always seems to forget to unlock the gate , always naked under her dressing gown ( can see her stiff nips and the outline of her knockers when she comes out to unlock the gate) . Messy hair like she can’t be arsed anymore, garden a mess. Sounds depressed when talking. This lockdown will have an impact on people’s mental health that’s for sure.

[jay moley]

Apologies I’ve just re read your original post in full and realise it’s reactive. As crazy as this sounds if it’s reactive in a weird way this can be positive in terms of the fact you can get some counselling to deal with this. At least you know what you’re depressed about.

If it’s chemical and not a reason as such this can be a bit more tricky and perhaps the medication route could be an option (although personally I’m not a big fan of just relying on pills bit sometimes this is necessary)

Get yourself booked in to see a therapist and this may help you to chat things through and get everything off your chest. You got nothing to lose trying one out at £40/50 or however much it is.

Good luck fella

Historically my depression which is actually diagnosed bipolar disorder is a chemical thing tho may have been influenced by childhood trauma as well.

I'm on 5 different types of medication which are working.

This slip back is reactive tho, the family issue.

I have been having counselling for the last 6 months but my therapist recently stopped so Im trying to find another one at the moment.

[Suffolkcleaners]

Hang in there if the meds are working. Shame your counsellor stopped. Have a look around for another maybe. Mine is working through Skype at the moment so Covid shouldn’t stop you finding one.

If it helps you’re not alone. I have some pretty severe family stuff going on also plus trying to not crack up thinking about my sibling that died. It’s tough. I’m just throwing myself into Obsessing  about a new window cleaning system to help me forget and cope Lol.

Maybe find a thing to focus on to help distract but I appreciate it’s not as easy as that. You’re not alone. Keep strong and get a counsellor booked in 👍

[Stoots]

I've suffered with depression for as long as I can remember.

It comes and it goes without any real pattern. Sometimes my mood changes daily or weekly or monthly.

Sometimes it's the weather but other times it can be a beautiful day and I still feel miserable.

What I do know is that generally I feel worse on a morning, it's an effort to get out of bed and full of negative thoughts etc. But once it reaches mid day I usually feel a bit better. I think a lot of depressed people feel worse on a morning.

The only way I try to look at it is just to accept it. I look at it like the changing seasons or the weather. I know whatever I'm feeling isn't going to last forever so just put one foot in front of the other until inevitably I feel better.

[NWH]

Exercise is a good start you need something to focus on,set goals try and become a millionaire at window cleaning just joking let’s be realistic no seriously exercise is a good place to start if you feel fit you feel good,whatever it is you can get through it. 👍

[Dave Willis]

....... or buy yourself a set of drums!

[dazmond]

These are absolutely awesome!the technology has improved massively in 10 years since I bought my last electric kit!😁👍

I've only has them since monday and I've already spent 8 hours on them...these keep me on the up!

[johnwillan]

Apologies I’ve just re read your original post in full and realise it’s reactive. As crazy as this sounds if it’s reactive in a weird way this can be positive in terms of the fact you can get some counselling to deal with this. At least you know what you’re depressed about.

If it’s chemical and not a reason as such this can be a bit more tricky and perhaps the medication route could be an option (although personally I’m not a big fan of just relying on pills bit sometimes this is necessary)

Get yourself booked in to see a therapist and this may help you to chat things through and get everything off your chest. You got nothing to lose trying one out at £40/50 or however much it is.

Good luck fella

Historically my depression which is actually diagnosed bipolar disorder is a chemical thing tho may have been influenced by childhood trauma as well.

I'm on 5 different types of medication which are working.

This slip back is reactive tho, the family issue.

I have been having counselling for the last 6 months but my therapist recently stopped so Im trying to find another one at the moment.

Sounds like you know what's required Jay, well done.

Reacting is something we're all guilty of, being able to respond with empathy takes time but it's worth it.

Keep well