[TomCrowther]

Drink will only deepen the mood your in. I would suggest packing it in all together. When I go out, which is rare I only have one beer. Quite happy with that. Drive there, drive back, no hang over etc and no wasted cash.
Everyone has been through it an we all get over it but it is very rough. Chin up an keep moving forward mate.

[mac74]

I feel for u mate, ive been through this hurt myself in the past, i couldn't stop thinking about her after the break, it was very hard but i just had to throw myself into the job, there was nothing else. Maybe being on here after work, in the evening will help keep your mind off it.  Its going to be a sh*t time for you for while mate, but you can take solace in the fact that i will get easier as time goes by. Good luck m

[Spruce]

I feel for u mate, ive been through this hurt myself in the past, i couldn't stop thinking about her after the break, it was very hard but i just had to throw myself into the job, there was nothing else. Maybe being on here after work, in the evening will help keep your mind off it.  Its going to be a sh*t time for you for while mate, but you can take solace in the fact that i will get easier as time goes by. Good luck m

This is an interesting article about relationship breakups.

https://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/why-breakups-are-harder-for-men-more-women-than-men-are-initiators-of-breakups-35693115.html

So what you are going through is what most men will experience in this situation. As others have said, the cut will heal eventually but its up to you not the carry the scar into the rest of your life and into any future new relationship. Things will get harder if there are children involved as you will still need to communicate on a civil level, but remaining friends doesn't always happen except in fiction. This will usually come from her side and is just a way of softening the blow she is dealing.

If the person concerned has a controlling nature then this can also been seen by them as a way of getting control back.  I see Angelina Jolie as one of these women. 'I'll show you whose boss' attitude.

The other thing is to be wary about mutual friends you may have. This is often when friends take sides and confiding in a person you think is a friend could well be taking that info back to the ex.

There may also be other things at play here that you know nothing about; yet. Women are much better at hiding things than men are. 

But no matter what, what doesn't come out in the wash will come out in the drier.

[Ooooooog]

Get stuck into something else pronto.
Best thing for a broken heart is finding someone else.

[NWH]

It doesn’t come overnight but you need to look at the situation how it is,not being harsh but if she doesn’t want to be with you anymore no matter how much you drink cry or wallow will make no difference to you’re situation.
Few years time you’ll thank her,imagine that being the same situation after 30 odd years,all these things happen for a reason in my mind.

[Shrek]

A weekend in DAM should sort you out 

[dazmond]

Why is everybody going down the gym AFTER a break up?

Just an observation.

There is good advice given too. Best one is avoid the booze whatever you do.

the gym is not for everyone (as some guys just cant stand them)but for some of us having a healthy interest in something that can bring a positive change(physically and mentally)is a good thing,esp when going through a difficult time in our personal lives,it gives us something to focus on.....couple that with good nutrition and a solid work routine THATS SUITS US(which you can do when your self employed)it can help us through a rough patch....

relying on friends you ve known all your life  can be the kiss of death esp if your friends are mainly alcoholics/addicts/party animals.....ive been there many times in the past,in my 20s and early 30s and i just ended up wasted and feeling even worse while my life just spiralled out of control,debts mounting up,business going down the pan,nearly getting evicted,etc....i did get a few cheap thrills from sleeping with a few crazy women though but even that wore off after a while....

my grandad always said to me when i was younger..."look after number 1 first".....i didnt know what he meant really....but i do now.....you need to take care of yourself first......

AA meetings were also a great source of hope,inspiration,comfort,laughter and inner peace and strength for many years rather than going down the pub yet again.......

[Steve_c]

Happen once to me in 1990, just got on with it then realized it was the best thing that ever happened to me ….....What a crab, mate I was out every night more football more pub time and then I met the love of my life and after a very long engagement (17 years) we got married.  Carry on and stop looking  backwards.

[Slacky]

after a very long engagement (17 years) we got married. 

17 year engagement? Thats slower than your window cleaning...

[johnwillan]

Hi James

Some great replies and support.

Take a look at goodguystogreatmen.com you'll find some excellent advice, general idea is... it's not about her or anyone else it's about you, become the person YOU want to be, not someone pleasing someone else, I could go on but easier to visit the site.

Another great reference (not implying you need or want to) is "The easy way to Control Alcohol" - couldn't believe how easy it was - still in shock LOL!

HTH

John

[jk999]

Get a dog a camper van do four days a week work and out with camper for 3 days ,tell you something you wont get any bitching from your dog just unconditional love ,i love my dogs more than my two grown up kids and my wife of 30 odd years 🙂👍

[dazmond]

Get a dog a camper van do four days a week work and out with camper for 3 days ,tell you something you wont get any bitching from your dog just unconditional love ,i love my dogs more than my two grown up kids and my wife of 30 odd years 🙂👍

i guess your missus doesnt read CIU.......

[AuRavelling79]

Get a dog a camper van do four days a week work and out with camper for 3 days ,tell you something you wont get any bitching from your dog just unconditional love ,i love my dogs more than my two grown up kids and my wife of 30 odd years 🙂👍

i guess your missus doesnt read CIU.......

The dogs do though.

[jk999]

Correct 😁👍

[robbo333]

My missus said to me, if I go on CIU one more time she's going to leave me!
I am really going to miss her 

Get out of bed! Shower! Shave! Get out the house! Don't drink! Meet women!

[jk999]

😁😁😁😁

[gsw]

https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Rational-Male-Audiobook/B01E61BELW?qid=1574890593&sr=1-1&pf_rd_p=c6e316b8-14da-418d-8f91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=JEKCHXHN8C2NTA0P561M&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1

Listen to that. At least 2-3 times.

[nathankaye]

How you getting on?

[Slacky]

You’d better potter over to pornhub, he’s far more likely to be there, than here, these days.

[Frankybadboy]

been there myself and there no easy fix and to try tell you what todo

you will work though it slowly and will come out the otherside of it a better person


as a parting gift i brought my ex a one-way ticket in a hot air balloon