[Missing Link]

I've done a first draft of a press release I'd like to use to advertise our window cleaning business.  But it just feels - ultra corny to me - so I'm not sure if I'll do one.

So it's just an idea at the moment, but if some wordsmiths could help me improve the text, that'd be great.

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A Chepstow window cleaner, Helen Duffield, has recently came 3rd woman in a 185 mile non-stop ultra marathon from Chepstow to Prestatyn along the Offa's Dyke path.

It was an biennial event called the King Offa's Dyke Race ran by Beyond Marathon. 

Helen says "The race started at 8.00 pm on Friday 13th September so it was already dark when we set off and I didn't reach the first checkpoint in Monmouth till midnight.  From there we pushed north, through Hay-On-Wye, Kington, Knighton, Llangollen to the finish on the north Wales coast in Prestatyn.

At Kington, I tried to have an hours sleep at a checkpoint; it was a village hall, but someone was snorting and sleep was impossible, so I just ate, refilled my water bottles and moved on.  I don't think I had much sleep at all during the 80 hours it took me to get to Prestatyn and at two points - due to sleep deprivation - I hallucinated; first time I saw a bear and the second time, very near to the end of the race, I saw other runner's head torches behind me.  Being a race, I thought I was going to be caught, so I speeded up; running hard to the finish line; which wasn't easy after covering nearly 185 miles.  But the race director told me that there were no runners behind me; the next runner came in over an hour later.

I finished Tuesday 17th September in a time of 80 hours and ____ minutes, 3rd lady, and only ____ of the _____ actually completed the whole distance in the 90 hour cut-off time permissible. 

My feet were very sore - heavily blistered and bleeding  - and I was tired and sleep deprived, but other than that my body has coped very well.  I didn't think I could do it; 185 miles is a long way; my furthest ultra marathons prior to that were two 100 mile ones and this sounded like a lot of miles too far."

Helen is taking a well earned rest from running and window cleaning, but should you need a ultra-fit window cleaner, give her a call on ______________.
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I'd include a couple of pics with it, such as...

IMG_7290 by Whey-Aye-Banzai, on Flickr

IMG_7538 by Whey-Aye-Banzai, on Flickr

[Ooooooog]

We’ve done a few.
Is it a press release, or an advert? Looks like you’re trying to be both.

[Ooooooog]

You should definitely blog it on your website.

[Missing Link]

We’ve done a few.
Is it a press release, or an advert? Looks like you’re trying to be both.

You see, I don't even know the difference. 

It's an advert.

[Missing Link]

You should definitely blog it on your website.

I had one a few years back; never had one since.  I really ought to get one again.

[Ooooooog]

Why not call up the local rag and give them the ‘local lady window cleaner excels at challenge’ or some such. They love this stuff.
You won’t be able to print your number as that’s advertising and there’s rules on this innit.

[Ooooooog]

Try and get a picture of your  van in somewhere......

[Missing Link]

Try and get a picture of your  van in somewhere......

It's not signwritten.  Wor Lass is a working class snob.  If I use it to go to some running event (as a base to sleep in or something), she didn't like everyone knowing we're window cleaners.

 

[P @ F]

Should came 3rd be come 3rd ?

[Ooooooog]

I love telling people we’re cleaners. You can tell a lot about them by their reaction.

[P @ F]

Oh and ran by be run by ?

[AuRavelling79]

Chepstow's Helen Duffield Get's a "Top 3" place in a gruelling 185 mile ultra marathon!

Chepstow window cleaner, Helen Duffield, has reached 3rd place for women in a 185 mile non-stop ultra marathon from Chepstow to Prestatyn along the Offa's dyke path. The biennial event is called the King Offa's Dyke Race and is run by "Beyond Marathon" - which organises such events throughout the UK.

An elated but exhausted Helen said "The race started at 8.00 pm on Friday 13th September and so it was already dark when we set off and I didn't reach the first checkpoint in Monmouth 'til midnight.  From there it was through the Brecon Beacons and pushing ever North; through Hay-On-Wye,  Kington, Knighton and Llangollen and finally, on Tuesday to the finish on the North Wales coast in Prestatyn."


Bordering on insanity!

She continues to explain "At Kington, not far from the Welsh/English border I tried to get an hours sleep at a checkpoint; it was a village hall, but someone was snoring so loudly that sleep was impossible! So I just ate, refilled my water bottles and moved on.  In fact I don't think I had much sleep at all during the 80 hours it took me to get to Prestatyn and at two points - due to sleep deprivation - I hallucinated; first time I saw a bear and the second time, very near to the end of the race, I saw other runners' head torches behind me. 

Being a race, I thought I was going to be caught, so I sped up; running hard to the finish line; which wasn't easy after already covering nearly 185 miles.  But the race director told me that there were no runners in sight behind me at all; the next runner came in over an hour later!

I finished Tuesday 17th September in a time of 80 hours and ____ minutes, 3rd lady, and only ____ of the _____ actually completed the whole distance in the 90 hour cut-off time permissible.

A happy feat with unhappy feet!

My feet were very sore - heavily blistered and bleeding  - and I was tired and sleep deprived, but other than that my body has coped very well.  I didn't think I could do it; 185 miles is a long way; my furthest ultra marathons prior to that were two 100 mile ones and this sounded like a lot of miles too far."

Helen is rightly pleased with this great achievement and is taking a short well earned rest from running and window cleaning, but should you need a ultra-fit window cleaner to go the extra mile, give her a call on ______________.

[Missing Link]

Hey, thanks, AuRav; if I run with it, I'll use your draft.

Cheers.

[Ralphie]

Try and get a picture of your  van in somewhere......

It's not signwritten.  Wor Lass is a working class snob.  If I use it to go to some running event (as a base to sleep in or something), she didn't like everyone knowing we're window cleaners.
Magnetic signs works for me, my missus also a snob, but runs a pub?
 

[AuRavelling79]

Send it in Tosh - it's perfect local town paper stuff. It only seems "corny" because you're used to what Helen does.  Sure, marathons are pretty commonplace now but 185 miles is newsworthy stuff - especially at a local level where the Offa's dyke path begins/ends.

You could ask for a free ad and put the bit about needing an ultra fit window cleaner in the ad.

[Johnny B]

Definitely send in to your local newspaper. The publicity you get from it being published is great advertising without you even needing to even really push the business, especially if you are already reasonably well known.

We have 2 local papers published where I live, and I have seen 2-page articles written about local small businesses, both start ups and established. I for one love reading about folks in the papers that I know personally.

You have given me some food for thought here. I may write to one or both of my locals if I ever achieve anything of interest to anyone!

John

[EandM]

It's far better than anything written by the Daily Mail.

[robbo333]

AuRav's press release looks good.
When you send it in make sure it says 'press release' in big letters.
I would keep the title short and punchy (editors flick through loads of press releases and need something to catch their eye),
perhaps, 'Local window cleaner comes 3rd in 185 mile ultra marathon'. Or AuRav's heading is good.
Don't forget to add a caption to the picture (I know it's obvious, but pictures can get lost etc).
Also don't forget local radio, especially if people can phone in and ask questions.

[AuRavelling79]

AuRav's press release looks good.
When you send it in make sure it says 'press release' in big letters.
I would keep the title short and punchy (editors flick through loads of press releases and need something to catch their eye),
perhaps, 'Local window cleaner comes 3rd in 185 mile ultra marathon'. Or AuRav's heading is good.
Don't forget to add a caption to the picture (I know it's obvious, but pictures can get lost etc).
Also don't forget local radio, especially if people can phone in and ask questions.

Your point about a shorter heading is well made.

Chepstow lady runs 185 miles in  mega-marathon !

[Jimmy Jon]

"At Kington, I tried to have an hours sleep at a checkpoint; it was a village hall, but someone was snorting and sleep was impossible"

Should that be snoring and not snorting?