So I have some relatively low priced work which redeems itself by being very compact. I have done this road for twenty years - so trad and wfp. Parking has often been tight but today was the worst as there are roadworks part way down increasing congestion.
It's damp and drizzly with grass and bushes wet for pushing past and I am getting a bit irritable with snags on bins and the parking difficulties. Normally I park and move twice for the fronts and go along a back lane for the backs but today I had to park at one end and use all 100 metres of hose across the road with dumper trucks going to and fro. A right pain.
Anyway a gap opens up at the far end and I decide to go for it to do just the front of one house I cannot get to even with 100m of hose but this entails my van being right against a disabled parking bay and when the rear doors are open I will be encroaching on it.
Now I will be less than five minutes as I have one upper window, a small lower bay and a front door to do but no sooner have I knocked the door and started but this woman next door neighbour who looks quite ambulant comes out, marches up to me and says her husband will be back any minute.
I say I will just collect my money and put away and be gone. She moans and I say I could have been gone in the time I'm discussing it and can't she be a bit neighbourly for the old boy I'm cleaning for. She goes in in a huff just as hubby turns up all engine noise and jerky movements to show he is in a huff.
My customer just rolls his eyes at me and says that they (neighbours) are always causing trouble and to ignore them. Anyway the neighbour has room to park (good driving actually!
) and tells me if I can't get out he isn't moving. He marches into his house and points his finger at my elderly customer and tells him to stop causing trouble!
I tell him its not the old boys fault and not to take it out on him. Matey comes round and waves his arms like a demented windmill and tells me that the old boy is always causing trouble and banging on the wall and why would I work for him anyway he's a paedophile.
I say that's a very grave accusation to make and anyway I could've gone without all this fuss and that the guy doesn't seem very disabled to me and he parked quite easily.
My customer then says "Right I'm calling the police!" The neighbour hot foots it indoors and I put away my hose and go and collect my cones and my custy calls me over as the police want my details as a witness!
So this copper wants to know what the accusations were and I say "I'm stood right next to Mr. "X" and I don't really want to repeat them." My custy says "go on, I don't mind" and so I tell 'em what I heard.
I obviously got caught up in some neighbour needle match - I could dump the whole flipping road!
