[tlwcs]

A smashing thread

[Stoots]

And elderly customer named florence who i know quite well asked me to clean her insides one day

I turned round and said shurflo, but it will have to be next time...

i like to  be in controller the situation.

[nathankaye]

I Left my client's  dripping wet to dry in their own time whilst i went to see my next willing client

[Windy Miller]

Yesterday's first customer always insists I have a short 'window' of time to get her done before 10am. I don't know 'water' reason is for this.
I decided to ask why I just couldn't show up when it suited me. She told me to calm down and catch a 'Grippa' myself, her 'Gardiner' was scheduled to call.

[jk999]

If I don't see you through week I'll  see you through window

[nathankaye]

Wouldnt touch them with a barge pole........

Now a gardiners pole is something else


Best to give them the slip

[nathankaye]

I started this job so i can clmb the ladder
Now im sliding down the pole

[Stoots]

I love this job for the pure freedom to do what I want.

However sometimes I have to get a grippa myself, I met Mrs Jones last week who looked like she had had a 'facelift' and she said I don't know what 'hose' you have been paying for sex  but don't treat me as such I don't take it up the 'rectus'.

Seems to me she needs her tampon changing, she buys the 'applicator' type.

Funny lady, always has mucky feet, blames her bad back for not cleaning them...I said it's easy get in the shower and simply reach and wash.

Anyway she a perv, she told me how she likes to squeegee's big pole.

Who's pole you ask? I dunno.

Anyway she prefers a strap on rather than bolted so that says it all.

Truth be told I'd like to beat her with A-frame but I'd probably use her Zimmer.

Im eating a burger as I type, it's a single I couldn't manage a double or triple.

Another thing about Mrs Jones. Since I'm on with the topic, whilst she's cleaning her feet she should really give her fascia clean as well.

Slightly off topic but my relationship with my partner has broken down....it's in the garage, think I'll buy a vivaro next.

Talking about 'vans', I once had a customer and you couldn't 'trainer' she was a skate shoe.

Stupid cow always paid late. She had funny a funny 'gate' just the way her legs were I'm afraid.

She's so old, she used to be a windy you know...she used to work during the rain..
...of henry the 8th so that's really old.


 

[elite mike]

ime going to give this thread the brush off   

[Jonny Swirljet]

This I just a smear campaign to hide the glazed look in your eyes

[G Griffin]

God help us when Griff turns up. This is going to be a tediously paneful thread.

I won't be lead into such trivialities. I'm too busy on another forum dedicated to a character from the TV progamme Last of the Summer Wine.
It's a Compo site.

[Jonny Swirljet]

That's just Batty!

[G Griffin]

That's just Batty!

Yeah, I'm a Wally.

[Jonny Swirljet]

That's just Batty!

Yeah, I'm a Wally.

I can't agree - I'm going to use this window of opportunity so say, stop wining about it

[Jonny Swirljet]

Is nobody got an unger  to add anymore comments?

[nathankaye]

It might be time to reel it in lads!
Or perhaps to clamp down

[G Griffin]

It might be time to reel it in lads!
Or perhaps to clamp down

Well said. 
I can't take any more, man.

[Jonny Swirljet]

So it's curtains for this thread then?