Here - I've condensed them:
Terms of Service:
By using or booking our services you agree to our terms and conditions of trading although we always try to be fair to clients, we have set these simple terms and conditions below to protect us as a business we ask you to respect them whilst using services:
Be fair with us and we’ll be fair with you:
1: All our work is guaranteed but sometimes mistakes can be made. If you are not happy with the quality of your cleaning please contact us within 24 hours and we will return to clean the affected windows without charge
1. We’ll do a tip top job but if we don’t, we’ll fix it for free
2: South Window Cleaning Ltd will not be held responsible for any damage made prior to cleaning of glass. We will inform you were possible of such damage prior to commencing cleaning.
2. If it’s broke before we get there don’t expect us to pay for it
3: You agree that South Window Cleaning Ltd to provide an all year round service 12 months of the year, All Window Cleaning is on a 6 weekly basis agreed upon after initial consultation. (we do not do one off cleans) our minimum contract is 4 cleans.
3. We clean all year round so don’t be coming up with with naff excuses around crimbo time coz you’ve spent up.
4: South Window Cleaning Ltd would expect customer to advice prior to going on Holiday or Time away from home so alternate arrangement can be made. We will still clean you property safely while you are away and will respect and observe your property & home security.
4. If you’re going away giz a bell
5: South Window Cleaning Ltd will clean you windows in most weather conditions to continue a regular service to our clients, we will still clean in rain and light snow or frost, in the event of heavy rain heavy snow or hard frost we will clean your windows at the next time slot we have available, We do not work in very strong winds as this would be unsafe for us, our pure water systems work in all weathers therefore weather conditions are not an acceptable reason for postponing our services. We can clean your home/premises in all conditions without affecting quality, including heavy rain and temperatures down to minus 12 degrees and below, but excluding electrical storms as this is unsafe,
5. We clean in all weather
6: If you wish to postpone or terminate our services, you must provide at least twenty eight (28) days' written notice before the next scheduled date. Failure to do so will result in a 100% charge for any work scheduled within this period.
6. Don’t put us off or cancel or you’ll still have to cough up – unless you giz a bell
7: South Window Cleaning Ltd will not accept any doorstep cancellation or deferment of service and will apply a charge of £10.00 to defray cost of arriving.
7. It’ll cost you a tenner if I turn up and you’ve changed yer mind
8: South Window Cleaning Ltd will at all times respect you and your property and will expect the same in return.
8. I am not a robber and could you keep yer eye on me gear if I nip to the bookies
9: If for any reason the customer defaults on payment South Window Cleaning Ltd retains the right to seek payment by legal means. This cost will be for the account of the defaulting customer's account.
9. Pay up or it’ll cost yer
10: Payment is to be made within 7 days of your property being cleaned, interest will be charged at £2.00 per week until payment is received in full.
10. Pay up sharpish or it’ll cost yer
11: Our working hours are Monday – Saturday 07:00 – 19:00 access will be required at any reasonable time between theses times ONLY for performing services.
11. We work dawn ‘til dusk
12: Payment may not be with-held as a means of negotiation regarding a conflict between parties.
12. Don’t be making no excuses to not pay up
13: Please clear up after your dog. We may be unable to clean all of your windows if there is excessive dog mess in your garden, however the regular cleaning price will still be charged.
13. If you like dog poop good for you – I don’t
14: We usually increase prices by a small amount on an annual basis. We will always give you 28 days’ notice of any increase.
14. The cost of your window cleaning is index linked to the cost of a pint in Wetherspoons – keep an eye out
15: If you have a complaint against any member of staff for any reason please contact us immediately and we will look into the matter accordingly. If our office is unmanned please leave a comprehensive message and we will call to discuss the problem as soon as possible. We will do our best to rectify the situation quickly.
15. Any probs – giz a bell
16: All window cleaners are trained to work safely, please do not ask them to do anything that is unsafe.
16. Don’t bother asking us to do yer gutters
17: Physical and/or verbal abuse will not be tolerated against any of our operatives or customers for any reason, if this happens window cleaning will be stopped with immediate effect, monies for the clean will still be owed
17. Don’t give us grief – a headbutt in response often offends
18: We do not accept liability for damage caused by decorative or structural defects, or conditions at your property/premises, such as, but not limited to, ill-fitting windows, doors, fascia’s, guttering, window/conservatory trims, Window vents, unsecured windows and doors, leaking seals, decorative bars stuck on glass, rotting frames, flaking paint, open/broken trickle vents, etc.
18. If it’s not our fault, we ain’t payin for ‘owt
19: We accept no liability for decorative bars coming loose or falling from the exterior of the glass. If these bars are correctly installed, our brushes will not damage them in any way. Should they become loose or fall, this is due to the adhesive not bonding correctly with the glass and coming into contact with dust, rain and contaminates.
19. If you’ve got those Chavvy bars on yer glass don’t be surprised if they come off coz they’re stuck on with pikey snot
20: Should we be unable to access any part of your property/premises due to locked gates etc., we will only clean the accessible areas, such as front or side/s. This will typically be charged at 100% of the total clean cost. We will be unable to return to clean the restricted area until the next scheduled clean. To avoid this, please ensure safe access is available. If you prefer keeping your gate locked or access is available through a garage, as licensed key holders, South Dorset Cleaning Ltd can hold a key and access codes in complete safety.
20. We turn up and clean what we can get to – and charge full price no matter what
21: We reserve the right to amend these terms and conditions without notice.
South Window Cleaning Ltd will apply these terms in a fair minded and reasonable manner.
21. We might change our mind in future but be fair with us and we’ll be fair with you
Better/Worse?
Cheers, Tom