[AuRavelling79]

So I have about 10 houses that we do from one van spot adding up to about £120. They are 1960's block terraces of five or six and so have some access to backs between them or around the sides for hose runs.

As they were originally 2-bed some have had the loft converted into a dormer and so three-storey.

I got a call about 18 months ago to say their w/c had disappeared (I knew he had gone more commercial and that his son had moved abroad and so he understandably but not very courteously decided to drop the dross, errr less productive members of his round.)

Anyway because I had just taken on Dan the Man I took them on at £10-£13 on a 2 monthly basis (ooh that's more than "XX" was charging, yes but it's every other month and where is he anyway, you want reliable don't you? etc) 

I needed more work and I thought I could make it pay which it does - it takes us about 100 minutes for, as mentioned £120 if we park in the right place and don't get held up collecting waiting for back gates to be opened etc.

So as a group it's becoming (Paul Coleman "I've got a bad feeling about these") borderline. I've given an inch and some of them are trying to take a mile. Off to work now but in the next post I'll tell you why.

You got any like these you feel "on edge" about? It's the compactness and (two or three really pleasant grateful ones) that keeps me from dumping the lot!



 

[Spruce]

Gold

You are still online - please, please, please continue with the story. I don't want my day ruined just thinking about this all day!

[dazmond]

look at my other post GOLD!ive dumped the lot!!ive had a bad feeling for a while in this area and been thinking of getting rid for a few months now.yesterday was the final straw!i used to do these as "fill in" jobs at the end of a good run around the corner.

im still on course for my best earning month ever though due to good work picked up over the last 6 months!

sometimes you just gotta accept that you cant win em all!!


best wishes


dazmond

[Ian101]

must be the day for old hands dumping as Daz up to it as well .................. canvass clean cull as the BFG used to say .... where is the BFG these days ?

[dazmond]

ian he dumped all his customers and decided to sign on!at least he gets paid every 2 weeks!!

[dannymack]

Didn't really understand it so what's the message pmsl !!!

[AuRavelling79]

Ok, so the preponderence of this group is old dears with one less old boy in his early sixties who keeps an eye out for some of them. His daughter who is about 40 is on the strength too. Anyway said daughter is obviously ill, rather long term and not looking too healthy but the jury's out and being self employed but unable to work she is scratching for cash and "Dad" asks if she can "leave it" until she is better. Being I'm a soft git and as it seems genuine I agree.

Next time ... there's one "old dear" on the end of one block and so in the middle of two blocks who has let me park opposite her house in front of where her garage is. Great I can run the hoses through her back and front gardens and along the fronts each way and same at the back. Convenient.

But she says she doesn't think she should pay £13 when her friends both pay £12 and as I park on her spot I should give her a reduction to £12 too. I explain it's because she's on the end and has an extra couple of windows on the side but she's having none of it. And after I agree (see below) she announces she is off to America for six months and won't want them doing until new year.

I know I should have dumped her on the spot but I bit my tongue because I wanted to make sure I could do the rest from another parking point without moving the van. She is dumped but doesn't know it yet! 

This time ... I park elsewhere and the hose runs are fine and I get permission off another lady to use "her spot" so have two options next time when I tell "old sightseeing America but won't pay £13" she's dumped after Xmas.

That afternoon I go to do "Dad"'s (remember him in paragraph 1?) parents, who live about two miles away - I chat quite nicely with "Dad"'s Dad and commiserate with him about his granddaughter's health (paragraph one again!  ) - and collect the cash.

Anyway the old boy ("Dad"'s Dad) says "see you after Xmas" I think I'm just correcting him when I say "actually 8 weeks takes us to the first/middle week in December so they'll be done just before Xmas."

He gets quite stroppy wags his finger and says "No, no! We don't want them doing until after Xmas!"

I quietly but firmly say "Well if that's your last word Mr. _______ we won't be back at all." He realises he's overstepped the mark and says "hang on, hang on" and consults her indoors who obviously wants them done and he comes out and puts his thumb up all sweetness and light and says "that's fine."

I'm an inch from dumping the lot and walking away but I so want to tell Mrs. Captain America she's dumped so I'll go back in December and again in February!

I don't care about the "compactness" anymore and I'm on target to several hundred pounds a month beyond what I need every month so I'm ready to cull!

[Ian101]

Remember to regail us in Feb when you put her outta her misery

[C o z y]

You should write a book Malc. A bit like "All Creatures Great and Small" sort of thing. Seriously.

[robbo333]

I have loads that need culling too but can't afford it yet, then...

1. Posh old dear sees my van and asks for a quote.
Proper big house, loads of windows but easy so I said 25 squid (probably worth 30 ish).
She said I'll give you 50 squid cash! Blimey i'm thinking.
She then asks me my dietary requirements because she provides food for all her 'workpeople'.
Tea and biccys I said would be fine. What about fruit or sandwiches she says etc etc etc.
Cleaned it the other day to find a spread laid out on the table; tea x 3, fruit, biccys x 2, cash in envelope, complimentary beer, diary for next year!!
Cleaned the house, no probs, left with goody bag and 50 squid. Am I going to end up joining some weird cult by accident!

2. Got a call from a leaflet.
Went to the house next door by accident and spoke to the builder. Is Sue around? Wrong house mate the woman who lives here is called Caroline. Try next door.
I go next door and find Sue. Lovely job.
I quoted 20 squid over the phone (brand new 3 storey town house). Didn't know about the new georgian and sash window combination.
To be honest the woman was a nightmare on the phone, couldn't make a decision about anything. (I knew she'd be a problem).
I didn't fancy doing it all and the woman was really odd so I wanted to bail out. I told her it would be £26 squid and I use a pole system.
She says the trad windy next door would do it for 17 squid at which point I felt relieved. Let him do it.
Use him I says, he's obviously doing the others so I'm sure he'll fit it in for you.
No she says I want to use you. (I got a bit scared now). Then she said "I can never get hold of the window cleaner next door anyway".
That's easy I said just talk to Caroline next door, I'm sure she'll give you his number.
Then she goes off on one..."oh my god you've been talking to Caroline next door and she's turned you against me, hasn't she. Go away and get out of my house"
Seriously...I left skid marks at this point.

Anyway the ones that need culling i'll keep for a bit.

[C o z y]

"Am I going to end up joining some weird cult by accident! "

  PMSL Some really strange bods down your way mate!! The second woman sounded like something off a TV sit com!! 

[Paul Coleman]

Ok, so the preponderence of this group is old dears with one less old boy in his early sixties who keeps an eye out for some of them. His daughter who is about 40 is on the strength too. Anyway said daughter is obviously ill, rather long term and not looking too healthy but the jury's out and being self employed but unable to work she is scratching for cash and "Dad" asks if she can "leave it" until she is better. Being I'm a soft git and as it seems genuine I agree.

Next time ... there's one "old dear" on the end of one block and so in the middle of two blocks who has let me park opposite her house in front of where her garage is. Great I can run the hoses through her back and front gardens and along the fronts each way and same at the back. Convenient.

But she says she doesn't think she should pay £13 when her friends both pay £12 and as I park on her spot I should give her a reduction to £12 too. I explain it's because she's on the end and has an extra couple of windows on the side but she's having none of it. And after I agree (see below) she announces she is off to America for six months and won't want them doing until new year.

I know I should have dumped her on the spot but I bit my tongue because I wanted to make sure I could do the rest from another parking point without moving the van. She is dumped but doesn't know it yet! 

This time ... I park elsewhere and the hose runs are fine and I get permission off another lady to use "her spot" so have two options next time when I tell "old sightseeing America but won't pay £13" she's dumped after Xmas.

That afternoon I go to do "Dad"'s (remember him in paragraph 1?) parents, who live about two miles away - I chat quite nicely with "Dad"'s Dad and commiserate with him about his granddaughter's health (paragraph one again!  ) - and collect the cash.

Anyway the old boy ("Dad"'s Dad) says "see you after Xmas" I think I'm just correcting him when I say "actually 8 weeks takes us to the first/middle week in December so they'll be done just before Xmas."

He gets quite stroppy wags his finger and says "No, no! We don't want them doing until after Xmas!"

I quietly but firmly say "Well if that's your last word Mr. _______ we won't be back at all." He realises he's overstepped the mark and says "hang on, hang on" and consults her indoors who obviously wants them done and he comes out and puts his thumb up all sweetness and light and says "that's fine."

I'm an inch from dumping the lot and walking away but I so want to tell Mrs. Captain America she's dumped so I'll go back in December and again in February!

I don't care about the "compactness" anymore and I'm on target to several hundred pounds a month beyond what I need every month so I'm ready to cull!

Malcolm.  This is one very big reason why "compact" doesn't necessarily mean "good".  I'm sure they figure it out that they can mess about more if they know you will be back to give others a clean.  I dropped about 10 jobs in one hit quite a few years ago.  Some depended upon others for access.  This was back in the ladder days too.  One day I just had enough and told some that I wouldn't be back (and why) and asked them to pass the message on to those I missed.  I also blew out on about £40 unpaid.  I considered it a bargain.

[AuRavelling79]

I know Paul, I know ... every time I show a slightly kinder way than I'm naturally inclined to do it ends up doing my head in.

Ideal customer:-

Me: "Mawnin'!"
Them: "Hi! Here's yer cash, I'm off to work, bye!"
Me: "Ceeeya!"

Me: Scrubadub, don't let the gate hit my rear on the way out, on to the next

 

[tom20001]

I have loads that need culling too but can't afford it yet, then...

1. Posh old dear sees my van and asks for a quote.
Proper big house, loads of windows but easy so I said 25 squid (probably worth 30 ish).
She said I'll give you 50 squid cash! Blimey i'm thinking.
She then asks me my dietary requirements because she provides food for all her 'workpeople'.
Tea and biccys I said would be fine. What about fruit or sandwiches she says etc etc etc.
Cleaned it the other day to find a spread laid out on the table; tea x 3, fruit, biccys x 2, cash in envelope, complimentary beer, diary for next year!!
Cleaned the house, no probs, left with goody bag and 50 squid. Am I going to end up joining some weird cult by accident!

2. Got a call from a leaflet.
Went to the house next door by accident and spoke to the builder. Is Sue around? Wrong house mate the woman who lives here is called Caroline. Try next door.
I go next door and find Sue. Lovely job.
I quoted 20 squid over the phone (brand new 3 storey town house). Didn't know about the new georgian and sash window combination.
To be honest the woman was a nightmare on the phone, couldn't make a decision about anything. (I knew she'd be a problem).
I didn't fancy doing it all and the woman was really odd so I wanted to bail out. I told her it would be £26 squid and I use a pole system.
She says the trad windy next door would do it for 17 squid at which point I felt relieved. Let him do it.
Use him I says, he's obviously doing the others so I'm sure he'll fit it in for you.
No she says I want to use you. (I got a bit scared now). Then she said "I can never get hold of the window cleaner next door anyway".
That's easy I said just talk to Caroline next door, I'm sure she'll give you his number.
Then she goes off on one..."oh my god you've been talking to Caroline next door and she's turned you against me, hasn't she. Go away and get out of my house"
Seriously...I left skid marks at this point.

Anyway the ones that need culling i'll keep for a bit.

lol there out there man , nutters

i was cleaning out gutters one day and had a bin bag on the ground which was blowing up and down  in the wind, custy comes out and says "is my dog in that bag"? i said sorry? he says "is this the old dog in the bag trick where you hide my dog in there".... i said no its just the wind............ oh he says nd walks off..the poor guy had no dog but was dead serious...... got job done nd got out of there !!!!!!!!!!!

[Johnny B]

There's a guy who is desperate for me to clean his windows. I have been tipped off about him (he lives next door to a friend of mine) that he never pays. Indeed he still owes my friend's grandson who is also a windy.

The guy's garden is a rubbish tip (yes he wants that cleared too) and his oven needs a clean (yes he asked me to do that as well). He had previously offered me a fiver to do all three jobs for him!

I quoted him 30 euro for the windows only (it's a small bungalow, he wants inside and out done). He agreed to the price, but I (truthfully) said I was too busy to do them that day.

I am due back in his area in a couple of weeks. If he sees me I know he will ask me again. When the money is in my hand, I will do them, but will categorically refuse to do anything else for him.

Apparently the guy is loaded, but looks and lives worse than a tramp. (Sorry if this offends any any genuine tramps out there)  

John

[home6442]

There's a guy who is desperate for me to clean his windows. I have been tipped off about him (he lives next door to a friend of mine) that he never pays. Indeed he still owes my friend's grandson who is also a windy.

The guy's garden is a rubbish tip (yes he wants that cleared too) and his oven needs a clean (yes he asked me to do that as well). He had previously offered me a fiver to do all three jobs for him!

I quoted him 30 euro for the windows only (it's a small bungalow, he wants inside and out done). He agreed to the price, but I (truthfully) said I was too busy to do them that day.

I am due back in his area in a couple of weeks. If he sees me I know he will ask me again. When the money is in my hand, I will do them, but will categorically refuse to do anything else for him.

Apparently the guy is loaded, but looks and lives worse than a tramp. (Sorry if this offends any any genuine tramps out there)  

John

I guarantee if you had quoted a 100 euro he still would have agreed to the price, as he has no intension of paying
then price doesn't matter.
A greedy git like that could do his own windows and save money, but for this type its all about getting something
done for nothing.
Leave well alone even if he pays up front.
Endless call backs and bogus claims for damage come to mind when dealing with scum like this.

[MATT BATEMAN (OWC)]

Apparently the guy is loaded, but looks and lives worse than a tramp. (Sorry if this offends any any genuine tramps out there)  

I wouldn't worry. Steve C can't read anyway.

[AuRavelling79]

Apparently the guy is loaded, but looks and lives worse than a tramp. (Sorry if this offends any any genuine tramps out there)  

I wouldn't worry. Steve C can't read anyway.

 

[Johnny B]

There's a guy who is desperate for me to clean his windows. I have been tipped off about him (he lives next door to a friend of mine) that he never pays. Indeed he still owes my friend's grandson who is also a windy.

The guy's garden is a rubbish tip (yes he wants that cleared too) and his oven needs a clean (yes he asked me to do that as well). He had previously offered me a fiver to do all three jobs for him!

I quoted him 30 euro for the windows only (it's a small bungalow, he wants inside and out done). He agreed to the price, but I (truthfully) said I was too busy to do them that day.

I am due back in his area in a couple of weeks. If he sees me I know he will ask me again. When the money is in my hand, I will do them, but will categorically refuse to do anything else for him.

Apparently the guy is loaded, but looks and lives worse than a tramp. (Sorry if this offends any any genuine tramps out there)  

John

I guarantee if you had quoted a 100 euro he still would have agreed to the price, as he has no intension of paying
then price doesn't matter.
A greedy git like that could do his own windows and save money, but for this type its all about getting something
done for nothing.
Leave well alone even if he pays up front.
Endless call backs and bogus claims for damage come to mind when dealing with scum like this.

I totally agree John. I have no intention of doing them.

John

[Caleb Morley]

This is the best thread ever.

There are some right butters out there who "know best" when it comes to window cleaning.

Had a classic last week.

Fella wanted me to clean his conservatory roof. Priced it up, nice and high, he accepts.

I call on the day to confirm I'm coming, which I never usually do, but he insisted. Booked in for after 1pm. At 2pm his wife calls. "Are you still coming as its getting late?". Yes I'm still coming love, and no it isn't late. I was polite but curious about what time she went to bed. Anyway, I offer to do the job tomorrow as I have loads of regular window to do anyway. After some deliberation with her husband they agree to today.

I go there about an hour later. First thing they say "we thought you weren't coming". I thought it was hilarious but I knew I had a couple of complete fruit cakes on my hands.

So we start the job and we are watched like a Muslim man in a US government building playing laser quest with his 4 mates who are wearing rucksacks. (Just to be ever so politically correct, you can sub in this: we are watched like an overweight Leeds United supporter whose seen hanging around a mosque with "EDL till I die in 5 minutes when I set fire to myself and run in this mosque" on his face.

We do the job, or so we think. Then the nitpicking starts. He wants the bits cleaned that are visible when you open the doors, IE the bits that when the doors are closed no one sees. I ask to borrow a toothbrush just to see whether he'll go for it. HE DOES! I give them a quick clean and tell him that they need cleaning about once a week (Ok that's a lie but I wish I had said it now as he would probably do it twice a week to be careful).

We leave and have a great laugh at these asylum escapees.

The next day I get a call. I have taken a hoselock of his. i don't think i did but I said I'd check with my lad who wasn't working today. I call him, he said we didn't change any of his hose locks. I forget to call the nutter back.

The next day I get this txt:

PLEASE RETURN YELLOW HOSELOCK THAT YOU TOOK FROM MY HOUSE. JOHN' 36 ******** ROAD

I go round there and he's polite but I instantly realise that we haven't changed his hoselock. I tell him. "O no, you have, defiantely. This hoselock is orange and mine are yellow". The difference in colour is minimal. He shows me another hoselock at the back of his house. Again the colour difference is minimal. The hoselock that he says is mine is 100% not mine. I say I'll look in the van anyway.

I return with some old yellow hose locks that I used when I first started window cleaning. They haven't been moved for about 2 years and my employee doesn't know where they are kept.

What does the crackhead say?

"That's mine! That's my hoselock!"

I said "sorry I don't know how that happened" trying not to lose it completely with laughter.

I left him and wondered how he'd survive the night when he realises that his faecaes stinks.

The best I've had yet. Fingers crossed it will be topped soon.

Cheers,

Kay