[DG Cleaning]

My brother in law has been kicked out by is girlfriend, currently he stays with his sister.
The words I would use to describe him as a person I can't put on here
Although he does have job he's lazy, irresponsible, tells lies
like they are going out of fashion generally untrustworthy.
Nothings his fault even when he got drunk and drove head on into another car he blamed the other driver despite claiming to have no recollection of the incident.
He's on his backside, can't afford a place to live etc.
However he has a lovely 3 year old son same as me and it would appear he's trying to be a good father.
Its for this reason I'm attempting to set him up as a window cleaner.
I'm going to let him have a small round very cheap he can pay me when he's able.
I'm going lend him all my stuff so no outlay for him.
I'm even going to do the round with him and train him up.
Yet I can see nothing but grief for me I hope I'm wrong.
Would you do the same or just let him stand on his own 2 feet like I think I should?

[robertphil]

did he ask you- if so  good on you for helping him out

[Smudger]

Sounds like you know its gonna be trouble

Save yourself all that grief and just buy his son all the things he needs like cloths toys and food

Your just going to lose customers, equipment, and end up supporting your bro and his family anyway.  If you can afford to lose it then go ahead, but you may find you get dragged down like him then you and yours will have nothing to fall back on as it's been given away.

How does your other half feel about this business idea?

Daran

[Ste b]

Although he does have job he's lazy, irresponsible, tells lies
like they are going out of fashion generally untrustworthy.





Youv already answerd your question

[DG Cleaning]

Sounds like you know its gonna be trouble

Save yourself all that grief and just buy his son all the things he needs like cloths toys and food

Your just going to lose customers, equipment, and end up supporting your bro and his family anyway.  If you can afford to lose it then go ahead, but you may find you get dragged down like him then you and yours will have nothing to fall back on as it's been given away.

I won't lose customers because the work will be his.
Also he's not getting his hands on my wfp stuff he's starting trad.
However the work is right next to mine I'd prefer a bit of distance between us tbh.

How does your other half feel about this business idea?

Daran

[DG Cleaning]

did he ask you- if so  good on you for helping him out

No I offered, my wife talked him into it a bit when I wasn't there.

[G Griffin]

He's already got a job, hasn't he?

[gary999]

good on you too offer...but hopefully he will duck out at the last mo

[dazmond]

NO!NO!NO!

seriously mate he needs to learn from his own experiences and man up to his own responsibilities.he has not asked you and doesnt seem to want to change his job so why are you bothering?

if he approached you sincerely and said he wanted to change his ways and try window cleaning then maybe but its your missus trying to make his mind up for him.

[AuRavelling79]

Run, Forrest Run. And don't look back.

The very notion!

[roundbuilder]

Fair play to you dg. Top respect, family is family nomatter what and if you can help in anyway to make other family members do better without hurting your own pocket too much then go for it..
If you get him up and running just say all thats in it for you is the business if he chucks it in to get another job or decides its not for him... It will be a nice nest egg for yourself in the long run and for the meantime a worthwhile income for your brother in law to support his family.
Worst case scenario is that you will end up with a lot of extra work...

[DG Cleaning]

NO!NO!NO!

seriously mate he needs to learn from his own experiences and man up to his own responsibilities.he has not asked you and doesnt seem to want to change his job so why are you bothering?

if he approached you sincerely and said he wanted to change his ways and try window cleaning then maybe but its your missus trying to make his mind up for him.

I'm hoping he does man up as this is the first time work wise he's had to think for himself.
I'm hoping it dawns on him this is an opportunity to build a decent life for him and his lad.
When I say work it's only about half a day for him but if he wants he can build it up he can
It's his round I'm not being too charitable one of the reasons I'm getting shut is because the houses all have slate cladding on both sides and they drip for ages causing marks downstairs.
I have to do all the tops then go back round them and do the bottoms it doesn't take too much extra but it's a pain in winter when it seems to drip forever.
It's fairly safe to do trad has there are a lot of lawns involved.

[G Griffin]

Yeah, it's always preferable to fall onto a lawn  .

You can't run this bloke's life for him. If he wants it, let him have it, but don't expect too much.
When you expect people to live up to your standards, you often get disappointed.

[Tom White]

There's something called 'idiot compassion' and I think it applies in this case.

Some folk (and I'm one of them) only learn through pain and suffering; when it gets bad enough, we do something to change.

My suggestion would be to let your brother do what he does and he'll keep on getting what he's always gotten.  After reality has smashed him in enough, hopefully he'll change.

Often trying to be kind in situations like this delays the inevitable and you don't end up helping anyone.

[Norbert]

DG, only you and your wife, really know the situation with your brother-in-law? What you are trying to do in helping him is really praiseworthy. You know the risks you are willing to take in helping your brother-in-law. if he really is willing to work at window cleaning and is determined to get his life back on track with your help and support, then you will have helped change his life for the better.

However, and I speak from personal experience, be prepared for some let-downs and much personal stress and worry along the way to his recovery. My advice to you and your family is be prepared for some difficult times ahead in this venture and be prepared to support your brother-in-law in many more ways than you may be prepared for at the moment. Above all you must not let his problems affect your life and drag you down with him. I wish you all the best in this venture and hope it succeeds for all of you.

Good luck Phil 

[DG Cleaning]

If it wasn't for his lad he'd be getting no help from me.
But since I became a parent a take a different view on life.
My plan if he sticks to it is to hold his hand first couple of times he does it then hopefully leave him to it.
After all its only a few hours work a month.

[EandM]

It probably will cause you grief for the reasons that have already been outlined.
However, your intentions and kindness are very refreshing and highly commendable !

[rosskesava]

DG - I think you know the answer to your questions already.

Good luck though and good on you for trying help.

[Smudger]

Time will tell. But with winter coming it'll be all over by Christmas.

Hopefully be proved wrong and not only is he doing all the work you gave him but built up a nice big healthy round to run along side yours.. 

Darran

[Ian101]

test his resolve by getting him to canvass with you - if he cant be bothered to canvass then he ont be bothered to clean windows