[stuart howes]

 ::)if you want a wee what do you do
go home
use the peoples loo having to take your boots off  to go in the house
or wee down the drain as i did today thinking the people were out    no they were in and she came out to pay me just as i was weeing   she must have seen me  may be not as it was cold  in southend on sea    come on tell me all your funny stories : : : :

[H h20]

Yep been there done that soaked my trousers and had to carry on while talking to the customer as im feeling the warm turning cold very quickly  (NOT NICE),Gaz

[lynngc]

PMSL here guys!!!!

lynn

[s.hughes]

Went behind my customers shed at the bottom of their long garden only to find the customer in the shed.

Steve

[AuRavelling79]

1. Choose downstairs window - kitchen is best - and with cill above a certain height   -
2. Look both ways, check for security cameras.
3. Soap/Brush window with one hand while rummaging for ronnie with the other.
4. Clean glass while releiving ronnie against the rendering.....
5. Wipe cill/wave to customer through window while replacing ronnie.
6. Nonchalently move to next window.....

Ladies have different procedures I'm sure..........

[stuart howes]

 

[dai]

Go to escort van, open both doors, find my cut down lemonade bottle, pull doors together as much as I can, pretend to be looking for something , and do the deed.
Steam can be a dead giveaway on frosty mornings. DAI

[steve k]

don`t drink all them cups of tea you are offered

[rosskesava]

One of the others I work with was dying for a pee and while on a flat roof which was the only place out of sight of any window, knelt down and pee'd down the down pipe that is for the flat roofs guttering.

I was down below watching and trying to say to him to stop without attracting the attention of the owners who were in.

The down pipe ran straight into a 10 gallon drum which turned out to be one they used for watering their indoor plants with natural rain water.

A few weeks back while working my mate being desperate pee'd into a plastic bag (it was all he could find) while sitting at the steering wheel.

What he didn't realise untill too late that is was one of those clear plastic bags from a supermarket that had holes in it so as kids can't suffocate.         

[david-maunder]

cleaning the backs off some houses last year.........

approx row of 10 do1 miss 1 do 2 miss 1 do2...any way....shut the gate look left look right start to relieve my self in the allyway that runs right along the backs.

all of a sudden i see a lady marching out the last house backdoor.(1 i dont clean)......down her garden im shouting hold on love ....picks up pace ...out her back gate SNAP   shes got a camera zooming in at me  todger......im still shouting..........turns out shes death and dumb.......thought i was a theif.....

after lots of red face and waving me scrims,about and pointing at me ladder she got the message.........NEVER GOT THE POTOS....

[genesis_windows]

1. Choose downstairs window - kitchen is best - and with cill above a certain height   -
2. Look both ways, check for security cameras.
3. Soap/Brush window with one hand while rummaging for ronnie with the other.
4. Clean glass while releiving ronnie against the rendering.....
5. Wipe cill/wave to customer through window while replacing ronnie.
6. Nonchalently move to next window.....

Ladies have different procedures I'm sure..........

same sort of principle but a bit different as wfp!
two poles out at the same time,trying to clean window one handed while splashing boots and smiling innocently as customer through window

[Biscute]

i know of one friend who went on his mop as he couldnt be botherd to  go to the nxt street were is partner had the bucket.

[dai]

This is nothing to do with window cleaning but it was really funny.
Three guys are out in their small trawler.
One of them [we'll call Bryn to name the guilty] Had a passion for Guinness, his mams pea and ham soup, and garlic bread.
Not even his brand new PVC dayglow overalls could mask the evil smelling sounds he was omitting. It was bad enough to peel the paint off the wheelhouse roof.
After about an hour of the other two's protestations and Bryn's laughing, he decides much to their relief as much as his own, that he needed the loo.
Now small trawlers are not renowned for their deluxe facilities. The loo in this case consisted of a plastic bucket with 6ft of rope attached to the handle. Bryn put 6 inches of water in the bucket and disappeared down the engine hatch.
The engine hatch was an extremely confined space, Bryn struggled to get part way out of his overalls. Eventually he managed, and proceeded to use the bucket.
Now the propeller shaft was turning at a fine rate of knots, this a matter of inches from were he was squatting. He hadn't noticed but the rope on his bucket had fallen over it. Suddenly! the bucket disappears from under him at the speed of light, Bryn's on his back, a tangle of overalls and wellies.
The bucket was no match for a powerful marine diesel engine and was instantly flattened like a toothpaste tube. the contents of which were duly sprayed throughout the compartment.
The other two crewmen ran to see what all the noise and yelling was about, only to be confronted with an emerging Bryn.
Now if you can only imagine the combination of dayglow orange and camouflage paint, this was Bryn.
 Nothing was hurt but his pride. He hoped the other two would say nothing when they got in and went to the pub. Yeah, and pigs might fly. Dai
 

[stuart webster]

I usually ask the customer if I can use there toilet.

has anyone else thought of this?

[petski2]

Open back doors of the Citroen Dispach,climb in,close the doors they are blacked out,unscrew top of old lemonade bottle,wee,put top back on,place on floor of van,zip up,open doors,jump out,carry on working with a smile.

[marc al]

   I very often get in the back of my van and use my bucket, sometimes I change the water afterwards too!

[Grafters Cleaning Services]

in the back of my vivaro van, shut doors go in bottle,

the other day i opened the back doors to put my pole away only to fing the guy who works for me had his pole in his hand doing the bizz

i managed to shut the doors b4 anyone could see him

[JohnL]

slightly off tack but - I used to be a salesman on the road and remember my sales director telling me he got stuck in a motorway hold-up for 3 and a half hours and got so desperate he used one of his wellington boots whilst sat in the drivers seat  - ugh!

JohnL

[Fast 1 *]

I once urinated on a customer because i felt a bit off that day

[WavieDavie]

4. Clean glass while releiving ronnie against the rendering.....

Handy tip No 427
Peeing against rendering will make a splashy noise which will attract attention.
Peeing against a downpipe makes absolutely no noise at all - No, I don't know why, it just does.

And why is it called Ronnie?