[Ian101]

Had 1 last week ... done the house and knocked for the money as I could see they were in ... got no cash says her ...... YOU SHOULD OF KNOCKED FIRST TO SEE IF WE WANTED THEM DOING says him from the safety of the kitchen .... thinking got a double act here and was going to drop them cos of dog poo in garden so with nothing to loose I shouted into the house "yeah well you could have stopped me couldn't you ... dont normally knock !!"  no reply from Mr Brave

Pay you next time says her .... (no chance I rekon) ... so going to get my money next time for this clean, do the ones either side of her who are no problem and then just drive off.

[Tom White]

Do you guys ever find that where you've got a clutch of say seven houses, all well-priced, all next door to each other, all easy access and all excellent customers APART from one whose mad-as-a-hatter and you really don't want their business.  But you can't drop them because you suspect if you drop them, you'll lose some of the other customers?

I've got one old lass, and I've told her twice that I'll resign as her window cleaner; but she keeps hanging onto me - after trying to give me the run around every month.  I try to be patient and tolerant, but she's capable of really rubbing me up the wrong way.

The last phone call was that my WFP was forcing water through her patio doors, which is funny because I haven't used it on her ground floor; Wor Lass trads the ground floor on that property.  And twice she's tried a 'not this month, mate' and I tell her each time that she's breaking our agreed terms and conditions and that our 'contract' is therefore finished; eventually she'll grab me and ask me to clean.

I wish she'd just sack me!

[Ian101]

Tosh you could always let her catch you taking a pee in her garden 

[Steve CM]

Do you guys ever find that where you've got a clutch of say seven houses, all well-priced, all next door to each other, all easy access and all excellent customers APART from one whose mad-as-a-hatter and you really don't want their business.  But you can't drop them because you suspect if you drop them, you'll lose some of the other customers?

I've got one old lass, and I've told her twice that I'll resign as her window cleaner; but she keeps hanging onto me - after trying to give me the run around every month.  I try to be patient and tolerant, but she's capable of really rubbing me up the wrong way.

The last phone call was that my WFP was forcing water through her patio doors, which is funny because I haven't used it on her ground floor; Wor Lass trads the ground floor on that property.  And twice she's tried a 'not this month, mate' and I tell her each time that she's breaking our agreed terms and conditions and that our 'contract' is therefore finished; eventually she'll grab me and ask me to clean.

I wish she'd just sack me!

i wouldn't fear her just get rid if she is a pain. If you do a good job the others will stay with you. I can't be arsed with crap customers. just get shot!

I had a customer complain this week. i suspect she just for what ever reason doesn't like one of my guys. everytime i send him round she complains. I went round to inspect his work and re-clean and she said that i take a lot longer and he is only here a few minutes (of course i took longer, you complained so i wanna make sure i spend time on them)   : after inspecting my guys work. she had no reason to complain, But when my other guy goes round she doesn't complain and he is just as quick. Strange lady!

Anyways to much hassle so she is now on the suspended list

[Tom White]

I try to drop her, Steve, but this is how my mind goes...

"Fecking auld cow, right that's it, she's gone."  And then I'll have another think... 

"But she is elderly, and she does live alone; maybe she's a bit senile?  The poor lass is obviously frightened about stuff.  Aw, come on, Tosh, have a heart. "  And I put up with it.

Then the next month comes and she gives me the run-around and its... "Fecking ault cow, right... etc".
 

[bobby p]

Lucky for me , its not in my nature to ever be smiling broadly when im washing the glass.in fact i probably look as sour as hell .Years ago somebody said i looked like a child molester !

but by looking like a potential "funny bugger"  i dont get messed about  and having a deep "barry white"voice helps too . if you  are unlucky to have an "aled jones" voice you will get messed about no end.

[Tom White]

Are you suggesting I should 'Man Up', Bobby?

[bobby p]

well Tosh ive no idea how you look but if your hair is lank like in yer photo thats a start.  its all about first impressions isnt it.  youve probably cooked your goose as far as that old bird,shes got the upperhand now and knows you well.

 with new customers  i try to give off a vibe of "efficient yes,but dont for god sake fook him about " 

 if a fairly new customer is coming outside with a minor complaint i pretend i didnt hear what was said and then turn to face them and say "do what ?"  in a snarley Dennis Waterman/george carter   drawl .  That usually squashes them

[Tom White]

Hmmmmm!!!  I've a Geordie accent, so I start out sounding like I'm hard as nails, but invariably - particularly when I'm excited - my voice goes really high and camp sounding. 

A bit like this really...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1zfG9No12Y

Maybe I should pretend to be Welsh, or does that sound even more gay? 

[A & J Owen Window Cleaning]

stu mate its them that has a problem if you put a price in then you keep the same pricing structure they think they can beat ya down two fingers to em as with the snow clearance you hope she slips and breaks her leg

[bobby p]

that video really made me laugh, Tosh im guessing your more like a Robson Green , rather than Jimmy Nail , though Jimmy is the absolute dream image to strive for if you seek an easy round

[A & J Owen Window Cleaning]

lol  got a custie like that down ear in the mids like she sounds she will give you a roughin over verbally then she want to be ya best mate with loads of sorrrrrrrrryyyyyyssss

[Londoner]

The most annoying customer I had I never actually ever met. Husband and wife both worked and left the side gate open, never even met them when I did the quote.
Perfect payers though, left envelope and always a cheque within days.

One time when I went there builders were there concreting a base for what was obviously going to be a conservatory. Sure enough, next time I went there was a new consrvatory. Made a mental note I was going to have to call them but only left bill for the old amount.

Before I got round to calling them she was on the phone to my wife. She wasn't paying, I hadn't done them properly, there was a big lump of birds mess on the conservatory roof. Yell, yell, yell, hangup

We never got the money, didn't see much point in trying, what do these people expect?

[AuRavelling79]

I had a good one a few months back.

I do this detached 30's house in a nice part of Bristol and the couple are really nice, self made shop owners ex council estate and treat everybody respectfully. Often they aren't in but they hide the key and let me use it.

Anyhoo I'm scrubbing away and this woman and her friend (in their forties) come jogging along (she's a bit of a BobFoc) and she haughtily says:-

"What do you think you're doing?" In a demanding sort of voice.

Me: (instantly deciding that as she hasn't asked me in a nice way I'm going to be awkward but truthful): "Why do you ask?"

Her: (Right old strop on) "This is my brother's house and I'm staying here and how did you get into the back garden?"

Me:  "I opened the gate and walked in."

Her: "Does he know you're here?"

Me:  "I doubt it."

Her: "Well I'm not paying you!"

Me: "I didn't ask you to."

Her: "You're very rude!"

Me: " You started it! I'm here minding my own business, getting on with my work, letting myself in with the key your brother has provided and you come along all demanding - you only had to say "excuse me do you mind me asking, this is my brother's house ..." and I would have been disarmed by your charm and given you a ready explanation."

Her: "Humph!"

 

[Paul Coleman]

I've just had a phone call from an ex customer's grandad who organise jobs for his grand-daughter.

It was an occasional WFP job. Last winter I went to shift a bit of snow for them as they were on their way back from their home in Spain.

I also did some pressure washing at a bit of a reduced price last year.

Last month they wanted the patio pressure washing again. I offered to do it at last years price £150.

They thought I was trying it on and suggested £50.

I went round with the old invoice and showed them the figures.

He went off on one and said he would never have paid that amount.

I said I would only do it for the same as last year, but he wasn't having it.

he told me I had it wrong.

I left it that I would speak to the home-owners (grand-daughter) as grandad didn't trust or believe me.

This morning I had a call from Grandad asking me to go and move some snow so that the grand-daughter could get out.

I said no. As he didn't trust me or believe me I couldn't work for them any longer.

Sounds fair enough to me.
Although it's good to try to keep the business head on, we all have our limits.

[tom2009]

with new customers  i try to give off a vibe of "efficient yes,but dont for god sake fook him about " 

 if a fairly new customer is coming outside with a minor complaint i pretend i didnt hear what was said and then turn to face them and say "do what ?"  in a snarley Dennis Waterman/george carter   drawl .  That usually squashes them

I like yer style bobby 

[G Griffin]

well Tosh ive no idea how you look but if your hair is lank like in yer photo thats a start.  its all about first impressions isnt it. 

  Love it.