[Pole 2 Pole]

I had £20 on them going out in a shoot out 

[Lakes and Pennine]

Going past a cashpoint machine today and an old woman seems to be struggling, "can you help me check my balance please" she asks.
So I push her and she falls over.

who's been listening to ken bruce then :

[john tomkins]

Going past a cashpoint machine today and an old woman seems to be struggling, "can you help me check my balance please" she asks.
So I push her and she falls over.

who's been listening to ken bruce then :

Nowt else interesting... yourself

[AJ]

Two tampons walking down the road towards each other.
Which one says hello first............
























Neither, they're both stuck up tw**s

[stephen s]

what do you call a woman who misses her periods ?





























a jammy dodger 

[Pole 2 Pole]

what do you call a woman who misses her periods ?
Steve.........................That's not funny 





























a jammy dodger 

[Martin-Swinscoe]

After been cheated out of the world Cup finals by France, The Irish FA have asked FIFA if they could take Togo's place in the African Cup

[stephen s]

what do you call a woman who misses her periods ?
Steve.........................That's not funny 




































it is if you like jammy dodgers 

[Dale Smith]

After over 300 shots and only 3 on target Police now feel they have a main suspect....... and based on this evidence that suspect is......Emile Heskey!    

[richywilts]

paddy pulls alongside a lorry:  'oi driver, yer losing yer load'

driver says: 'f*** off!!!'

5 miles furtuhur along the road

paddy once again pulls up again 'yer losing ya load!!'

driver says: 'will you f*** off!!'

5 miles furthur dwn the road

paddy yells 'im not jokin u are losing ya load!!'

driver says 'will you f off u thick irish git, im gritting the f..ing road!!!'

[amayze]

Richy, LOL

[ccmids]

 

[wfp master]

its that cold in liverpool scoucers have been seen with thier hands in thier own pockets

[Gav Camm lammy 283]

its that cold in liverpool scoucers have been seen with thier hands in thier own pockets

now that i find funny

[elite mike]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". 

[martinsadie]

 

[steven ainger]

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street  with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex!!

[pingu]

Just saw this and it made me chuckle  ...

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100114/tod-uk-s-smallest-officer-still-feels-co-870a197.html

[stephen s]

laptop