[mark.laycock1@ntlw]

hi all.

well thats a good to my week. parked you a shop for a bottle of coke. then round the cornor comes a yellow van . looking at mine they park up right behind me oh mine big mistake my sighs have gone.

so i drove off round the corner got there reg colour of van the lot. takes of other sighs rings the police report it.

am not having this so back to shops they are there right guys wheres my sighs ."whats sighs" ok theres two ways we can do this i say to the three of them " i had police on specker phone they heard it all " i what my sighs back" please dont hit us we dont what any trouble . to late you got.  after all this sighs were thrown in carpark all the shops seen this but would not  speck up.

[BDCS]

Did you go to the pub on the way home ?

[The Great One]

Can you say that in English please?

[dianegreenwood]

did they steal your tongue too?

[daysdeepclean]

I thought I had a sudden bout of dyslexia

[clinton]

 

[mark.laycock1@ntlw]

ok left myself open for the insults .

we all work hard for our money and things i just dont like people taking things from me. not the gipos.

[chloejayne]

I agree 663% when flood you gates clean house office yes 

[BDCS]

A mate of mine has been driving around for the last 2 days advertising a kebab shop in Maidstone because someone had nicked the mag sign. I did'nt find it funny

[chloejayne]

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did!!!!!!! 

[drive surgeon]

what are sighs???

[chloejayne]

Its like a yawn i think 

[charlady]

Hi all,
Just had to say this has made my night. I know it's serious stuff, but I couldn't stop laughing.

[chloejayne]

LAUNDRY STAIN REMOVAL GUIDE
Here's a handy guide to getting out those pesky fabric stains:

Blood - Spill more blood around area of stain so it won't stand out as much.

Ink - Fall to knees and plead, "Why, God, why? Why dost thou test me so?"

Grass - Write the name of your liquid detergent on stain. Wash. Hold up to camera, and show off the unbelievable results.

Mud - Place large iron-on NASCAR patch over stain. Apply heat for 60 seconds.

Tomato Sauce - Take out the mook responsible for your tomato-sauce stain by executing him gangland-style in the back of the head. Capeche?

Coffee - Rub cream and sugar into stain. Apply oral suction. Enjoy rich, robust coffee-stain flavor.

Wine - Apply mixture of 1/2 rum and 1/2 Coke to self until you no longer care about some little freaking stain.

Chewing Gum - Using permanent marker, draw dotted line around stain. Cut carefully on dotted line.

Nail Polish - Nail-polish stains are actually quite lovely. Why not leave them in for a pleasing "homecrafted" look?

[drive surgeon]

do you mean "magnetic signs" not magnatic sighs?