[Steve Barnett (Carpet Care Plus)]

I want to send out a letter to my past carpet clients telling them that I now offer carpet cleaning.

Can you give me your opinion on the first draft below - anything I should add or delete ?

Be gentle 

Just a quick note to inform you that I am now offering a professional carpet and upholstery cleaning service.

I am fully trained and insured and offer quality cleaning using industry approved equipment and cleaning solutions.

In these environmentally friendly times, I also use micro-splitting, detergent free and bleach free products which are also bio-degradeable.

I offer a complete service, comprising deep vacuum, pre-spray, agitation and powerful, low moisture hot water extraction. Spot stain removal and after-clean stain protection services are also offered.

I have been cleaning for 12 years, but only offered this service as an add-on. I am looking to expand this side of my business and, as a previous customer of mine, I would be pleased to offer you a 10% discount off of my normal rates for any cleaning requirements you may have, now or in the future.

Please call for a free quotation on

Kind Regards

[lands]

I like it Steve. Short and to the point. I would add that the key part of the green aspect to most is the avoidence of rapid re-soiling because you are not leaving sticky residues in the carpet.

Pete

[mark shannon]

To the point, down to earth, personal, succinct, i like it  

[Kev Loomes]

It looks good to me apart from it may be getting a little bit deep A little bit more sale may get them to ring IMO. Just quickly, off the top of my head:


Dear Mrs.....

It has now been 2yrs since I had the pleasure of working in your home.

I am now glad to announce that we offer a superb carpet cleaning service alongside our normal window cleaning service.

We have been asked again and again to offer this service and are extremely pleased to now offer you as an existing client, an impressive 10% discount off all of our services!

We offer all types of professional cleaning including:

Carpets
Upholstery
Leather
Rugs
Curtains

Call now to recieve a FREE quotation on ********. Remember, we are fully insured and are eagerly recommended by local retailers.

Kind regards

**********


p.s. Don't forget, call before 31st May 2008 and get 10% DISCOUNT!

[Steve Chapman]

How is it 'low moisture hot water extraction?'

that seems a bit of a contradiction to me, or am i reading it wrong?

steve

[Len Gribble]

Steve

Stain removal  , treatment would be better  .

Len

[Steve Barnett (Carpet Care Plus)]

Steve

Low moisture, as in your carpets aren't soaking wet after being extracted - but I agree it can be read differently