I wondered about a TV advert. Ride of the valkeries( Dam busters theme tune), pigeons in formation peeling off one by one to dive bomb the housing estate. Cowering and demented house wives watching from inside as their windows get splattered.
Then a bit like the AA advert, the fourth emergency service, (i'd have to be the fifth) they ring the bird muck hotline and up I turn, hose unreeling, pole banishing the foe.