[Bungle]

Number on the screen is Chorley, no where near me but I'll answer it anyway. "Hello, how are you?" In an Asian accent. 'Well, to be honest I'm knackered, got a few aches and pains.' I reply. He doesn't acknowledge my aches and knackeredness but asks if I'm using an iPhone or Samsung. I reply with 'you've just phoned me to ask how I am haven't you??? He put the phone down. 

[tonyoliver]

Always worth a giggle with these if you have time

[NWH]

You went that far I love it when they call me I just hand the phone over to Terry Tibbs.

[Slacky]

Enquiring whether they'd like phone sex usually ends in a call termination from their end, especially if you ramp up the breathing.

[robbo333]

If I think it's a potential customer, I'll answer it.
I'll tell them 'Sorry I can't speak at the moment, I'm up a ladder, I'll call you back'. Mostly, it works a treat, it stops them 'dead in conversation' and they are happy I will call them back.
If It's a sales call and I fancy some fun, I say the same thing 'Yes I am the business owner, but I'm working UP A LADDER at the moment. 99% of calls will say 'oh sorry, I'll call back'. A few have just carried on with their speech, I just hang up.
Mostly, if it's not a local number, I can't even be bothered to answer; if it's important they will leave a message on the voicemail.

[NWH]

Enquiring whether they'd like phone sex usually ends in a call termination from their end, especially if you ramp up the breathing.

Yeah my wife does that she calls me by mistake I say to her wrong number again 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Slacky]

I hear you're not the only one.

[johnny bravo]

usually put a daft voice on    . or just leave it on  without speaking untill they hang up

[NWH]

We have one of them call minder things they have to say who they are so you can either reject or press 1 to answer.

[AuRavelling79]

My landline doesn't ring much. It's either my mother in law or my daughter trying to phone my wife who hasn't answered her mobile.

Anyone else is usually trying to fix my internet or tell me that my computer has malware and they need to sort it out or sell me something but need details.  Usually with a foreign accent.

I just answer in a foreign language saying in that language I don't speak English. I've had a 'What the hell did you just say?!' Followed by me telling them they are a scammer in said foreign language. They immediately hung up.

If I have time on my hands I string them along pretending to follow their instructions to open my computer and click on certain links. After a few minutes I say something like 'A message has come up saying that you are a scammer and I should tell you your mother would be ashamed of you!' Usually they cut the call dead but one charmer came back with 'Don't you talk to me about my mother, I'll come over there and F-MODDED your mother and make you watch!'

I was quite quick I thought when I asked him if he was into necrophilia because he'd have to dig her up first.

[EandM]

" Good Morning, FBI Field Office. "

Click...