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Stoots

  • Posts: 6211
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #60 on: November 04, 2018, 07:19:49 pm »
Yeh i went through a phase of listening to stuff like this,  another guy i like is eckhart tolle.

Eckhart Tolle is a weird one.  He had some 'spiritual experience' when in mental pain and seemingly became enlightened over night.

After sitting on parkbenches for a year (or two?) he decides to go on a spiritual journey and he ends up teaching what Buddhists call Mindfulness.


Yeh i think a lot of these teachers are a bit weird! it goes with the territory...still he has some very interesting books...i think with these type of teachers its often best to take what is usefull for yourself. Alan watts seems more human and a funny man, eckhart is more serious and seems to disregard the ego and try to live completely mindfull.

philosophy and spirituality are really interesting to me though, i love thinking about this type of stuff

Gordon_Taylor

  • Posts: 394
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #61 on: November 04, 2018, 09:30:19 pm »
Thankfully I’ve never suffered with depression.
However after a recent accident which resulted in me breaking my leg and dislocating my ankle, it’s opened my mind to how depression can develop when everything changes one minute working 6 days a week the next I’m in a metal cage for 6 months!!!
I’ve always taken the  Philosophy  There is always somebody in a worse position than me.
My mind set has always been worry about the things I can control and not the stuff I cant!
At the moment I have no idea how much work I’ll be going back to, lots of people say they will have me back but you never know, all I can do is focus on what matters that’s my recovery and coming back stronger than before both physically and mentally, preparing all my kit for when I’m back only then when I’m back will I stress about work as it will matter.
I my thoughts are with anyone that suffers with the condition but if it’s getting on top, take a breath break all the issues down and deal with one at a time, and the list will only get shorter.
Quality is doing it right, even when no-one is looking.

Missing Link

  • Posts: 44804
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #62 on: November 04, 2018, 11:33:52 pm »
My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression.  It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.

Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise.  Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting).  She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?). 

But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.

But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person.  She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked.  Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.

She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much).  She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.

I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable.  And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).
Pronouns She/Her/Madam/Ma'am

Stoots

  • Posts: 6211
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #63 on: November 05, 2018, 12:19:18 am »
My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression.  It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.

Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise.  Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting).  She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?). 

But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.

But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person.  She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked.  Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.

She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much).  She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.

I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable.  And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).

Citralopram....Prozac, yeh had plenty of those.

What I found with antidepressants, those in particular is they numb the senses, they didn't make me feel happy but took the edge off the feeling like crap...but they made me feel like a zombie, difficult to explain but they reduced the ability to feel emotion, not completely of course but to a small extent.

Medication is useful to take the edge of any would be very helpfull to deal with suicidal type depression but not really an answer long term..

I think meditation really is the key because it teaches detachment from feelings and emotions good or bad.

In order to feel happy you have to notice and believe you are happy just as you have to notice and believe you are depressed.

If you didn't then to be either one is impossible. It's like saying I can or I can't do something, if you say you can you can and you can't then you can't.

Something that we all do, I'll probably do it tomorrow morning when I have to go out into the cold to clean some windows, take a puff of air and say "I can't be arsed"..then my demeanor will change, I will embody that probably by repeating it, some negative thoughts will come into my head, shoulders will drop etc.

My point is that the mind is very powerful and so are our houghts we have to be very carefull what we allow to take on board and what self talk we give ourselves.

The best way I've found to deal with depression is just accept it, let it come and just remember it will go. Just like the tide comes in and out, nothing to try to fight or deny it just is what it is.

I think that the way I look at depression only comes after many years of trying to look for an answer to it. Be that tablets, councilling, CBT, etc I've done it all.

As soon as I stopped trying to find an cure, I found a way of dealing with it by simply accepting it and not giving it any power.

All much easier said than done when you are not depressed of course. Much more difficult when you are feeling low.

But meditation is the key.

With regards exercise, I found that it's almost impossible to be depressed during a hard workout, you know the ones where all you can concentrate on is breathing and staying alive. I'm a cyclist myself and I guess it would be the same with jogging when you are riding so hard all you focus on is the breath, that's a form of meditation in itself as you can't be depressed or have nay other thoughts on that moment, the body shuts off the mind to deal with just simply surviving

cleaniac

Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #64 on: November 05, 2018, 08:54:46 am »
Eventually I had to come off Citrolopram.

It turns you into a zombie. You dont feel anything evenutally, you sort of exist, and dont feel happy or sad, everything becomes 'Meh

dazmond

  • Posts: 23976
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #65 on: November 05, 2018, 09:15:29 am »
These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...

The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....

We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....

CBT,talking therapies,counsellors, meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....

These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......
price higher/work harder!

Dry Clean

  • Posts: 8861
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #66 on: November 05, 2018, 10:19:49 am »
These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...

The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....

We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....

CBT,talking therapies,counsellors meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....

These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......

Dazmond if you get it wrong you crack a pane of glass, if a doctor gets it wrong somebody walks in front of a moving lorry, think before you spout nonsense.

dazmond

  • Posts: 23976
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #67 on: November 05, 2018, 10:27:00 am »
These doctors really annoy me suggesting people to go on anti depressants all the time.my mother hasn't even got depression and her doctor tried to get her on them....thankfully she refused...

The medicalisation of our society is sickening IMO....for God sake some doctors are prescribing anti depressants for children....it's wrong....

We re meant to feel sad and low sometimes.....ok if your suicidal(or have regular thoughts of it then fair enough go see a doctor and get some happy pills).....

CBT,talking therapies,counsellors meditation,diet,exercise should all be encouraged before medication....

These pharmaceutical companies are very big and powerful and make a lot of money out of this......

Dazmond if you get it wrong you crack a pane of glass, if a doctor gets it wrong somebody walks in front of a moving lorry, think before you spout nonsense.

They all work for the pharmaceutical companies these days....
price higher/work harder!

nathankaye

  • Posts: 5366
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #68 on: November 05, 2018, 03:54:57 pm »
It's taken ages to get the doctors to put my wife forward for an appointment to the likes of talking therapy, as this seems to be the first port of call for our doctors. My wife suffers from severe depression and has many suicidal thoughts.  After only three one and a half to two hr sessions,  the therapist realised how deep the symptoms were/are and recommended a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist and talking group's and was going to put it before the panel.
Blooming waste of time as she called today to say the panel recommends group therapy to build self esteem instead of tackling the issues.  My Mrs phoned me in floods of tears thinking she was gonna get some help at long last only to have that door slammed shut in her face after saying step up to the door and wait to come through.
(This is why I tinker with things as that's my own coping mechanism with all that's going on. Nope I don't suffer from depression) Sadly thats not the case with my Mrs.

Never mind my daughter who lives with her mum and because she's 17 n half it's the battle of who can take responsibility to help her. Childrens mental health services or adults and between them they can't decide. No depression tablets prescribed though
After spending a night in a Physc ward because of how bad she got one night, they realised on the next visit that more should be done on their part as my daughter needs more help and promised this step n that and guess what, two days later a phone call to say sorry but at the moment all they can offer is a crisis Camhs team support, which is just more talking and no true action in helping.
They make you jump through hoops before we can get the proper help that is needed
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dazmond

  • Posts: 23976
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #69 on: November 05, 2018, 05:21:56 pm »
i feel for you nathan....i really do....i once went out with a nurse with bi polar......no amount of medication seemed to help,CBT did though for a while but in the end she did my head in and i had to dump her for my own sanity(she was a binge drinker too which didnt help me as i was struggling with alcoholism at the time)....

i wish you and your missus all the best and i hope she gets the treatment thatll help her get well......
price higher/work harder!

robbo333

  • Posts: 2419
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #70 on: November 05, 2018, 06:00:52 pm »
Nathan
I too wish you all the best for you and your family, and to anyone else who suffers with depression.
"Thank you for calling: if you have a 1st floor flat, mid terraced house, lots of dogs, no parking, no side access, or no sense of humour, please press hold!
For all other enquiries, please press1"

nathankaye

  • Posts: 5366
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #71 on: November 05, 2018, 06:57:15 pm »
Thanks chaps.
Think it's been a good thread Mike and hopefully knowing your not the only one going through this or journeying through this jungle can be a good source of encouragement and possibly support. Knowing that these issues can be talked about and others can sympathise as so many have on this thread, that there is support on here dispite  all our little tiffs etc
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windowswashed

  • Posts: 2580
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #72 on: November 05, 2018, 07:03:57 pm »
I sadly lost a cousin to depression this year. He was struggling to come to terms with his girlfriend commiting suicide a few months previously. Depression has to be taken seriously, especially for people who live alone, who can hide their emotions from others.

Slacky

  • Posts: 8281
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #73 on: November 05, 2018, 08:18:45 pm »
My other half has been going through a 'Dark Night of the Soul', to use an old fashioned term for depression.  It was a surprise to us all; the last time she suffered with it was about ten years ago when her father died.

Anyway, she visted the GP - with me - and the GP recommended some exercise.  Well she does that - to the extreme - already (70 miles a week running and 3 or 4 times a week lifting).  She runs and sometimes wins, ultra marathons. She ended up with the standard happy tablets (Certa-something?). 

But since then she's been meditating - every evening - using Insight Meditation Timer (like headspace); you get stars for meditation days in-a-row; stars are very important.

But the radical thing she's done is volunteer to befriend a lonely elderly person.  She's had an interview, has been found suitable, and is currently getting DBS checked.  Once police checked she'll get matched with a local lonely elderly person to befriend and spend a little time with each week.

She still has rough days, but she's tough in that she generally still gets all the stuff done that she wants to get done (and I think she does too much).  She says she doesn't feel tough, but she is.

I think she's doing brilliantly; my take on it is seeing the doctor is great - get the happy tablets and get some stability - but don't see those tablets as a solution; they're just to get stable.  And then seek other solutions like exercise, meditation, mindfulness, go and help somebody face-to-face (lots of studies show helping others benefits those with depression) and make any changes that may need changing (you'll know the ones).

That befriending an old person is brilliant. Good on her.

 I’ve taken to helping old folk out as much as I can recently. It makes you feel bloody brilliant.

Yesterday I helped some old fella out in Sainsburys. He was struggling, then when I’d finished I wished him a good day. I think it helped him, it did me.


Nathan, I wish you all the best. I wouldn’t wish mental illness issues on my own worst enemy. Apart from the usual crap about recovery from active alcoholism I suffer from anxiety. This year has been the worst year for it for me, worse than when my mother died. I’ve had to pull out all the stops to be able to get through it. Tomorrow morning I’ll be engulfed with it again when I wake up. There’s only one way through it and I’m blessed at least with the ability to be able to put one foot in front of the other and slowly make my way through the ‘treacle’. 


nathankaye

  • Posts: 5366
Re: Watch out Mick kent is back and gonna be smashing it.
« Reply #74 on: November 05, 2018, 09:54:23 pm »
On top of all of that, my mother was diagnosed with alzheimers two months ago as well, so an extra bumpy road ahead. I swear I'm not making this stuff, it sounds like something on a soap series.
(my mother is the career of my adult sister who has downs syndrome, (tho with a career she can look after herself)

Sadly and I'm sure I'm not on my own with this, where I have had/seen many of my customers who have been seriously ill and their partner/loved one has been looking after them relentlessly. However these are the ones whose health takes a severe nose dive and some sadly go to an early grave themselves.  If this has taught me one thing, it's that I can be selfish at times. It's OK to have a day off and do solely what I wish to do.  Why?  Because for me to look after and help and be supportive, I have to be in good health myself.
I'm sorry that I haven't read every post on this thread, but I can sympathise with all who are walking through the "treacle" and the daily battle this brings, even to have a slight desire to actually want to open their eyes in a morning.
I can sympathise for the ones who are going through it indirectly through supporting their loved one/family member and you have to tell yourself it's OK to give yourself a little "you time!"

If nothing else, for ones on here, just talking about it with one's who can listen and understand can also be good.
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