I heard to get rid of a cold you need to walk up the tallest hill in your village/town/city in just your undercrackers, take said undercrackers off and stick them on your head.
Whilst waving your winky around and hopping on one foot, you need to shout “I AM A UNICORN” 60-70 times (depending on the severity of your cold.
That should get rid of the cold for you mate and ensure a record week window cleanimg follows.
You’re welcome.