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Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #40 on: September 01, 2005, 07:38:41 pm »
I'm not phased by this banter but if you dont stop im gonna send the wife round !!!!

Was the letter any use David and did you have any constructive improvement suggestions  !!!!!

Nice one rick - just imagining David without his cowboy accessories !!!

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Sarah

Rick

  • Posts: 54
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #41 on: September 01, 2005, 07:43:53 pm »
LOL  ;D i carnt i have it on good authority that he tie's his scrim to his whip and does the tops that way  :D no ladder...... and from what he tells me no spo.... ok im going now :D
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"excuse me..... are you a window cleaner?"
"no love im a airline pilot"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
dont you just love this job?

rs_cleancare

  • Posts: 458
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #42 on: September 01, 2005, 09:08:59 pm »
Hi, I was wondering if you could send me a copy of your letter.
I currently use one for my carpet cleaning which i get good results from. I avarge 1.3% on my letters. As compered to leaflets you can expect between 0.3% and 0.5%.
Kind Regards,
Rob.

Robertsargeant@blueyonder.co.uk
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Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #43 on: September 01, 2005, 09:27:54 pm »
Hope this one generates that sort of take-up Rob.

Just sent  a copy to you.  Comments grateful.  Thanx
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Sarah

Moderator David@stives

  • Posts: 8829
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #44 on: September 01, 2005, 09:47:38 pm »
sarril

excellent letter i will write back with in depth comments soon .
one thing i picked up on .
is ,i think it is overloaded with information at the beginning .no problem with that ,i think potential customers will start to read then give up towards the end and may miss the point.   ???
 
i suggest some clear attention grabbers ,

then go into detail later .

but who am i to critisize .its better than i could do .
still very good though
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Moderator David@stives

  • Posts: 8829
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #45 on: September 01, 2005, 09:50:49 pm »
p.s the spurs go back next week as i am swapping them for a uniform and a razor .i may even stop saying "chears chuck " ;D
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Rick

  • Posts: 54
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #46 on: September 02, 2005, 01:15:02 am »
LMAO!!!!!!! ;D

you crack me up.... :D
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"excuse me..... are you a window cleaner?"
"no love im a airline pilot"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
dont you just love this job?

Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #47 on: September 02, 2005, 10:10:59 am »
LOL

dave, you have forgotten the cheesy smile, flashy white NEW van and the posh paperwork mate.

PS dont you need more blokes to make up the gang of 22 to do one house as well !!!!!!

Have a good day all.

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Sarah

Moderator David@stives

  • Posts: 8829
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #48 on: September 02, 2005, 10:26:23 am »
my new line will be

"dont worry about the spots love ,
they will probably clear up in 3months"

 ;D cheesy smile
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24-7 S C Services

Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #49 on: September 02, 2005, 11:04:19 am »
HI Sarill

Can you send me a copy of ur letter please?

Many Thanks


Andrew
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Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #50 on: September 02, 2005, 06:42:29 pm »
Have sent  you both the original 2 page draft and also the udated version which is a litle more compact.

 I have received different views on the first one because, for some it is too long and carries too much technical info and some thought it may put potential customers off. 

Personal choice though.  Let me have your comments.


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Sarah

Moderator David@stives

  • Posts: 8829
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #51 on: September 03, 2005, 04:42:41 pm »
srril can you e-mail the flyers again mate   ;)
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Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #52 on: September 03, 2005, 04:50:16 pm »
Just done it Dave.

Do I take it now that you have joined the 'Dark Side' and are cleaning quicker you have some spare time to canvass for more business !!!

Sent two drafts - mix and match to what suits your business. Good luck with the op.
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Sarah

daniel b

  • Posts: 440
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #53 on: September 03, 2005, 05:01:20 pm »
me too please sarill
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DSB Cleaning Services,Wrexham,N.Wales.
NFMWGC NO.9442,
Safe contractor approved.
www.dsbcleaningservices.co.uk

gaza

  • Posts: 1642
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #54 on: September 04, 2005, 06:31:34 pm »
SARILL:ME TO PLEASE as I need all the help Ican get. www.1st-abc.co.uk thanks

Def of a cowboy :a low life ,dole cheating gutter snipe,who cheats and lies {the other w/cs} packed in and Ive taken over for £1.50p less.
Gets a 16/17 yr old to go up ladders for him with no safety precautions,no insurance,not paying tax or national insurance.

THATS A COWBOY

GAZA
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IM AT THAT AGE MY BACK GOES OUT MORE THAN I DO

Sarah Sarill

  • Posts: 1537
Re: Poaching commercial work
« Reply #55 on: September 04, 2005, 09:14:24 pm »
Like it Gaz, glad I'm not the only one who has experienced these guys around !!!!!!!!!

Just mailed 2 versions of the letter which was shortend to exclude waffle !!!

Use it, bin it or just extract bits from it if they suit.

Sarill
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Sarah
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