[Ryan Smyth]

Here is a short letter iv been playing with for nursing homes,what you think? (be gentle )
Ryan


                                         Dear,
                                               I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself and my company.
 My name is Ryan Smyth and i own and manage hydro power clean,a local,family run,professional carpet,upholstery and hard floor cleaning service.
                                               We would like to provide your nursing home with a cleaning and sanitising
service which is second to none,to ensure peace of mind in what is essentially a home from home.We would
like to help you and your staff provide your residents with the secure,stable and comfortable environment
which they need.
                                                We can provide your nursing home with services that include odour removal
and deodorisation,and with our ew range of solutions carpets can be cleaned and sanitised in one process.Hard
floor cleaning,stain removal and protection as well as mattress cleaning and deodorising are also catered for.A
tailor made maintenance plan can also be arranged.
                                                 Thank you for your time and should you need any further information or would
like to arrange a no obligation demonstration please do not hesitate to contact me.
                                          Yours Sincerely,
                                          Ryan Smyth
                                          Hydro power clean

[Mike Halliday]

 here's a brief rewriting of what you wrote, I think this is better, but to be truthful its not good.


BUT  200 OF THESE WILL BRING IN MORE WORK THAN NOT DOING ANYTHING!!


 Dear,

 I would like to take this opportunity to introduce our new range of  cleaning solutions, your carpets can now be
cleaned and sanitised in one effective process

My name is Ryan Smyth and i own and manage hydro power clean,a local,family run,professional carpet,upholstery and hard floor cleaning service.
                                               
We would like to provide your nursing home with a cleaning and sanitising service which is second to none,to ensure peace of mind in what is essentially a home from home.We would
like to help you and your staff provide your residents with the secure,stable and comfortable environment
which they need

blaw..blaw..blaw.........

....................................................................

this puts the importance onto what the benefit is to them, rather than who you are which they couldn't care less about

[Ryan Smyth]

Cheers Mike,i was hoping you might have a look at it,il keep working at it

Ryan

[Mike Halliday]

Ryan, have you cleaned any nursing homes already?

a couple of years ago i had a bit of a run of sending out sales letters and I chose children's nurseries.

the first half of an A4 sheet was a list of all the childrens nurseries I already cleaned for ( in the end it was a list of 15 nurseries) the rest of the letter was basically a statement saying..............


these nurseries trust us to professionally clean thier  carpets, can we add you to the list?

it got business every time I sent it out.

the reason it worked so well was it builds trust without them having any risk, here's another example of the same strategy.

 imagine if you got this sales letter from a supplier...................

Introducing
NEW SUPER-DUPER XL CLEANING SOLUTION

as used by.......
 Ken Wainwright
Derek Bolton
Doug Holloway
Paul Pierce
John Bolton
Derek West

call us now to buy 25lts at the opening price of £75

even if you had never heard of the chemical or the company you would instinctively trust it because you trust the people who already use it.

this is a very powerful sales technique to use in sales letters or for any promotion,

so the point I'm making is mention the homes you've already cleaned for it will help build trust and a secondary benefit is it stop price objections when you are closing the sale because they will think ..... if that nursing home can afford you so can we!!

[Ryan Smyth]

Thats definately a good technique mike and i can see how that could be incorporated into a lot of direct mail and even flyers.Where did you learn this from,was it trial and error? Its obviously worth putting a bit of thought and research into commercial letters and all promotions for that matter,if i hadnt of posted that letter on here (and i wasnt going to) i would have ended up sending a load out,wasting my time and probably ruining any future chance of doing business with the homes sent to.

Thanks again

Ryan

[daysdeepclean]

I must say that I scan letters very quickly and the only ones that ever grab my attention are the ones with bullet points in bold text. The facilities manager will be a busy person and will undoubtedly need something that jumps out at them.

You have plenty in there which would be better portrayed in this fashion...

Good luck, Colin...

[derek west]

woooohooooooooo
i made the list.
only just mind.
cheers mike, cheques in the post.
derek

ps....idea taken on board, see the logic and pretty sure it would work, just need some nurseries under my belt first,
top tip mike.

[Ricky M]

 Name recognition works great , mentioned a well know local posh kiddy Academy (nursery) backed up with signed testo   on something similar and it looks like ive landed a section of a show ground (quarterly) and a large farm with shops BnB restaurant all because the owners lil one attends the Academy I clean at 

This has been my best client up to now even b4 i start there cause Ive taken clean OFF Rainbow !

one for the minnows
Ricky

[JandS]

Spanner in the works.
Don't most of these care homes employ a cleaning company to sort that end of things out.
When they want carpets cleaning they just ring up the company and tell them to get some quotes.
So ultimately the cleaning company decides who quotes so a letter to the care home wouldn't probably do much good.
Just a thought, I could be wrong.

John

[mark_roberts]

Careful how you word your letter to nursing homes as they tend to only get a carpet cleaned when its stinking of urine.  And from experience youll only ever mask it as its always a heavy spill.

Most have a machine for spots and spills as mentioned.

Mark

[Jim_77]

It depends on what carpet they have, and what their attitude is to carpet cleaning.

I've quoted for a few where there's no chance of them employing me for my quality service at higher rates, whereas I'm at one nursing home regularly every few weeks doing something - the manager used to do the carpets with his own va machine until I'd been and shown him what a pro can do!

Unfortunately these types of customers are the exception rather than the rule, so you have to keep them sweet and make sure they know they're getting value for money.

[Ryan Smyth]

A "heavy spill" Mark

Ryan

[Jim_77]

A "whole bladder full" is how I've had it described in the past!

I quoted for one, didn't get the job thank god, where one of the inmates residents used to tear off his colostomy bag and shake it out all over the place.  Lovely institutions to clean in, care homes!

[Tony Gill Carpet Smart]

When the night bag burts it goes a long way and the smell when the underfloor heating is on LOVELY.