[AuRavelling79]

Hi all,

I thought I'd tell you about my "exclusive only for CIU members" product called FLOUNCE.

Flounce can be used in many situations:

1) When a custy looks at you funny.
2) When a custy says "you've missed a bit."
3) When a custy asks if you can leave it this time.
4) When a custy leaves the gate locked.
5) When a custy lets his dog poo all over the garden path.
6) When a custy says "that's a bit pricey mate"
7) When a custy says "you upset my budgie"
8 ) When a custy says "I need to be in when you clean".
9) When a custy says "I've found someone cheaper."
10) When a custy's husband is about and is ungrateful for your service.
11) When a custy's husband says he doesn't like all that water.
12) When a custy asks you to "blade it off."

Use Flounce double-strength when:

A custy wants to know why you can't go up a ladder like a proper window cleaner.

However, please note that Flounce cannot be used in any situation where you have a reasonable discussion with a customer.

[Dave Willis]

I need to see the video of this!

[Tom White]

Does Flounce work when a customer gets narky with you because you've attacked her dog before it attacked you?

[David Kent @ KentKleen]

I am really interested in buying some of this, BUT can you tell me please, does it stop customers getting into there cars and driving off without paying, acting as if its just normal for us to wait for our money?
How much is Flounce per Ounce?
Thanks in advance.
P.S does it make the customer 'foam' around the mouth?

[Don Kee]

Is there a chance of a taster video of what we might expect from 'flounce'?

[tlwcs]

Can it be used with a "mince" before or after the flounce?

[AuRavelling79]

I'm sorry guys - no free samples of FLOUNCE are available. But to answer your sensible questions ...

>Don Kee

No taster video but if you find a you-tube clip of Larry Grayson saying "Shut That Door" it will give you an idea of how the flounce might work in a mild way.

>David Kent

It won't stop customers getting into their cars unless you stand next to the driver's door. I cannot give you a price for "Flounce per ounce" as it is a special blend of ingredients which make up the whole Flounce. Foaming does not occur.

>Tosh

To attack a dog as part of a flounce takes great skill. If you have an SLX in your hand you can "accidentally" pirrouette and smack said dog in the jaw with your brush. When the customer remonstrates with you you can then do a normal flounce in response.

> No video Dave, sorry - you'll have to take my word for it that it works due to the special blend of ingredients which are COSHH approved.

>tlwcs

An optional mince is done AFTER the flounce and is best done at this time of the year in the run up to Xmas with a mince pie to hand.

HTH

[Frankybadboy]

 

[gary999]

Does Flounce come with a pair of sling backs and a nice frock

[Walter Mitty]

I am remembering a very old TV ad for a dog food called "Bounce."  The jingle went, "There's more dog taste to the ounce in Bounce - the tasty, meaty dog food." .

Thanks for the laugh Gold.

[Tom White]

Flounce can be used in many situations:

1) When a custy looks at you funny.
2) When a custy says "you've missed a bit."
3) When a custy asks if you can leave it this time.
4) When a custy leaves the gate locked.
5) When a custy lets his dog poo all over the garden path.
6) When a custy says "that's a bit pricey mate"
7) When a custy says "you upset my budgie"
8 ) When a custy says "I need to be in when you clean".
9) When a custy says "I've found someone cheaper."
10) When a custy's husband is about and is ungrateful for your service.
11) When a custy's husband says he doesn't like all that water.
12) When a custy asks you to "blade it off."

But what about the traditional method of sneaking up behind a naughty customer and clocking them with a sock with a couple of snooker balls.?

Obviously don't use a sock with holes in.

[CleanClear]

Flounce can be used in many situations:

1) When a custy looks at you funny.
2) When a custy says "you've missed a bit."
3) When a custy asks if you can leave it this time.
4) When a custy leaves the gate locked.
5) When a custy lets his dog poo all over the garden path.
6) When a custy says "that's a bit pricey mate"
7) When a custy says "you upset my budgie"
8 ) When a custy says "I need to be in when you clean".
9) When a custy says "I've found someone cheaper."
10) When a custy's husband is about and is ungrateful for your service.
11) When a custy's husband says he doesn't like all that water.
12) When a custy asks you to "blade it off."

But what about the traditional method of sneaking up behind a naughty customer and clocking them with a sock with a couple of snooker balls.?

Obviously don't use a sock with holes in.

I'm haunted by an image from the 80's film "Scum ", whereby you find out who knows the traditions here and who doesn't !!! :-)

[AuRavelling79]

Does Flounce come with a pair of sling backs and a nice frock

No. You're just being silly.

Flounce comes in:

"Standard"

Lift head sharply up to the right or left (which side does sir dress?) turn on your heel and walk away.

"Vimto"

As above but lift right arm out straight at the elbow up to an angle of 45 degrees and goose-step away. Imagine you are in a line of other goosesteppers all looking up "eyes-right" at a small man in a peaked cap with a toothbrush moustache.

"Tosh"

As above but bend wrist up and make a circular motion quickly to the right and back to the left with your free hand. Mutter "wax on, wax off" as you hop from fence post to fence post down the garden.

"Acorn"

Not so much "flounce" as "float."

Drift dreamily away with head spinning. Call out "Peace man ... and death to the conspiracists!" But don't trip over that ley-line on the way out.

[AuRavelling79]

I am remembering a very old TV ad for a dog food called "Bounce."  The jingle went, "There's more dog taste to the ounce in Bounce - the tasty, meaty dog food." .

Thanks for the laugh Gold.

No, not bounce - unless you are Tigger or a well proportioned lady.