Clean It Up

UK Window Cleaning Forum => Window Cleaning Forum => Topic started by: rhys11 on February 22, 2008, 11:18:58 pm

Title: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: rhys11 on February 22, 2008, 11:18:58 pm
below is a commercial canvassing letter as sold on ebay for £1

Ref:
Date

The Manager
Address


Dear Sirs

Your company name Service is a local family run business and have been cleaning windows in the domestic market for sometime; we have built up an excellent reputation through hard work competitive prices and good customer service. We are now expanding and are seeking contracts for work with local businesses.

Customers and visitors to your premises appreciate a professional image and if your windows do not shine what message does that send to them. It is time consuming to clean them yourself and expensive to have a contract with a large multinational company. A better alternative is to have them professionally cleaned by a local independently run company like company name. Our Window Cleaning service is competitively priced with an average shop front window costing as little as £?? Per week to be cleaned.

We use either the traditional method or the water fed pole system to clean your windows. Each of these processes leaves your windows squeaky clean. We can also clean the inside if your require.

We also offer a full money back satisfaction guarantee, just call us and we will return and clean your windows again for free and also refund you in full.

We value your business and to secure your custom offer to clean up to 15 square meters of ground floor windows free of charge so that you can judge our service at no risk. We hope you will consider using our service. We have enclosed our business card with this letter for future reference.



Yours faithfully



Your Name


RHYS
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Chris Cottrell on February 22, 2008, 11:23:28 pm
what rubbish, my daughter could put a few lines down better than that
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: rhys11 on February 22, 2008, 11:25:58 pm
what rubbish, my daughter could put a few lines down better than that

can she thay would realy help  ;)
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: aztec on February 22, 2008, 11:36:07 pm
sorry to say this but if that came through my letterbox it would be in the bin, very unprofessional
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: geefree on February 22, 2008, 11:42:51 pm
This has been posted before, i dont have time or the notion to clean 15 windows ( sq metres ) for free.

that letter in my opinion is too congested, too much info, and too many special offers, and freebies.

I would be so uninterested ater the first two lines, it would be in the bin im afraid


Gary.

Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: geefree on February 22, 2008, 11:46:45 pm
lets say you are an electrician,... 15 free sockets fitted, if you are not happy i will give you your money back, and replace your house re-wiring.


Nah, it aint right is it?

Promotions are one thing, but looking desperate is not good business sense.

Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Grafters Cleaning Services on February 23, 2008, 08:18:31 am
what a load of rubbish, not professional at all :(
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: D woods on February 23, 2008, 09:18:51 am
If you sent a reasonable amount of sales letters like the one above, and kept on doing it every month you would get a response from them.
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: stuart@skypole on February 23, 2008, 10:12:13 am
I agree with D Woods,

this will get you noticed and is that not the point.

regards, Stuart
www.skypolewfp.com (http://www.skypolewfp.com)
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Sir Squeaky on February 23, 2008, 10:25:59 am
How is that unprofessional?  ???
That's pretty well written, and would impress most companies.

Why do people on here have to put everything down? ::)
Because it's not one of your little group of CIU freinds?
If it was, all you'd hear was "That's really good mate"



Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: robbie14000 on February 23, 2008, 11:12:59 am
Well said squeaky.
At the end of the day they are trying to gain more work.
There are some people who do nothing and wait for work to come for them.
I stop my van anywhere if I think I can gain another contract.
Every weekend yellow pages out and we send 5 letters to commercial businesses.
Costs are small and we are being pro-active.
You sit still in business you are soon left behind.
Thanks Robbie
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: D woods on February 23, 2008, 11:28:17 am
Over the years I have sent thousands and thousands of leaflets and sales letters, and I think the trick is to just keep them going out.

I have used lots of different designs and formats, and to be honest there does not seem to be much difference in the responce rates. It just seems to be a numbers game. The more you send out  ( keep hitting the same area) the more jobs you get to quote.
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Captain Scarlet on February 23, 2008, 01:58:29 pm
wow. that is terrible! luke
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: AJ on February 23, 2008, 03:19:32 pm
If you send out only a few letters a week, try and get a name to address it to by calling and asking for eg. facilities manager.
An addressed letter will reach the right person, a 'Dear Sir/Madam' letter gets opened by the girl on the desk and binned.
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Count Phil on February 23, 2008, 03:45:53 pm
Its fine. Don't be fooled into thinking that the person reading it knows how well written it really is. That's why he's in charge of the cleaning.

Its just the kind think that would work. Put them out in large numbers though.
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: poleman on February 23, 2008, 04:18:58 pm
Marketing! 

You have to get in the mind of what a customer wants or is thinking

I think its not that unprofessional, but does need to be shorter and more to the point (and address to the right person or it goes in the bin) 


Andy
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Dean Aspects on February 23, 2008, 05:00:26 pm
Its not bad perhaps could be written better and a bit shorter but not a bad basis for a commercial letter

Dean
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: keith b on February 23, 2008, 05:35:19 pm
The sales letter would get binned in my opinion, why?; Too wordy, and it just does not get to the point quick enough - I would lose the will to live trying to read that!

Better off with 3 or 4 lines of litriture on headed paper with a seperate in- depth leaflet explaining your service in full.  ;)
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: Ian Rochester on February 23, 2008, 06:14:02 pm
I started reading it and then couldn't be bothered.

Did it get my attention, obviously not.

I like to keep it short, do bullet points, is possible stick a picture in there.
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: peter holley on February 23, 2008, 07:44:39 pm
it starts off ok ....but free offers and money back is a little over the top....precise  , simple to read ,is the best way , ,,,who you are .... areas you cover...how long youve been in buisness.... method and fully insured.

target the same buisnesses a couple of times a year.... it's all about numbers and hiting the right buisness at the right time.....

Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: rhys11 on February 24, 2008, 03:34:31 pm
How is that unprofessional?  ???
That's pretty well written, and would impress most companies.

Why do people on here have to put everything down? ::)
Because it's not one of your little group of CIU freinds?
If it was, all you'd hear was "That's really good mate"



whats CIU? and i did not write the letter just found it on a past thread.
lets see  some of you write a letter and put it on here for use all to pick faults.
lets start now
come on you lot dont be shy..
Title: Re: LOOK AT THIS
Post by: paul saunders on February 24, 2008, 06:07:14 pm
How is that unprofessional?  ???
That's pretty well written, and would impress most companies.

Why do people on here have to put everything down? ::)
Because it's not one of your little group of CIU freinds?
If it was, all you'd hear was "That's really good mate"



whats CIU? and i did not write the letter just found it on a past thread.
lets see  some of you write a letter and put it on here for use all to pick faults.
lets start now
come on you lot dont be shy..

Half of the people on here wouldn't have the knowhow (me included), the other half aint got the balls because they wouldn't like the slating.

Well said Squeeky for saying it like it is. ;)